Arry, The FA Kingmaker

Good morning.

First up, a massive ‘thank you’ to all those who took the time to mail in about being part of the Hotspur’s Half Hour show. I’ve sent out a group mail to get the Vox Pops firing in, but will be getting back to everyone individually to organise making all of you household names.

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In more mundane news Tottenham supremo Arry Redschnapps has decided to narrate the hunt for Fabio Capello’s replacement and analyse the options available to the FA. For them.

This is a move I can only describe as ambitious. 

Clearly the inertia in the appointment process was niggling Arry. After all, he  invested a phenomenal amount of time and energy into courting the position when the news broke that Fabio was a goner.

Then he waited and waited for an offer. Arry was beaming, blushing and buoyant as day after day he told the assembled gentlemen of the press, ‘No letter from the FA yet boys!’ 

Then nothing. Nothing at all. There was a letter, but it was addressed to Sluralix the galling Scot, telling him to be like dad – and keep mum. 

So what was he to do? What would anyone do faced with such a predicament? Work harder at managing Spurs the job that catapulted him into the spotlight and the one he is currently remunerated for? Redouble his efforts to turn around a series of poor results borne in part by his own stupidity? Try and recapture the focus that was missing?

Nah.

What was required here was the work of an audacious mind. A mind that was so sophisticated it could subliminally plant the path the FA needed to follow in their minds with out them realising. Subliminally.

And so Arry, a self confessed ‘brilliant football manager’ had hatched a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.

“I suppose there’s not a million candidates, you know, Roy Hodgson and Sam Allardyce and whoever. And there’s some young managers like Nigel Adkins and people like that, who in the future I’m sure would be fantastic but, at the moment, probably too young.

“It is an older man’s job, I think. It’s not a job for a young guy. I said all along I think it needs an English manager. I think we need to give somebody a go.

“We’ve not achieved anything with foreign managers. Capello did okay for sure – bad World Cup (in 2010) – but we haven’t really torn up any trees, so why not give it to somebody from here. 

“Tottenham is my only focus, really.”

That last line is genius. You see, what he did there was mask – with just one line – all that he said before it.

And the Kingmaker slipped away into the shadows from whence he came…