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How Many Out Of 30 Then?

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Welcome to Double Maths & Soothsaying For Beginners. 

If we rake through what may or may not be going through the minds of our coaching staff for one more blog we’re more liable to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act than to find inner peace or enlightenment.

And so there are still 9 games to go.

Can that one sentence can offer restore the perspective that we’ve had systematically battered beaten out of us since Arry became England’s number one in waiting? 

Here are the fixtures and my take is based upon us playing good football, players in their correct positions. If Arry plays Friedel as a lone striker at any stage, all bets are off.

Stoke H Anti football has barely kept them in the top half of the table. Consistently mediocre all season. That said, they did us 2-1. 3 points

Chelsea A This ‘orrible lot are less reliable than us. With a bit of luck Mata will get hit by a bus driven by John Terry before we meet them.  1 point

Swansea H What a season. Premiership fresh meat has rarely been fresher and meatier. With a no frills, no nonsense typemanager  3 points

Sunderland A Rejuvenated under the reserved auspices of the man with the cheapest spectacles working in show business today. 1 point

Norwich H I’m glad this isn’t at Carrow Road, our little cherubs need to play sides who can ‘get messy’ indoors on a proper pitch 3 points

Bolton A Dire all season 3 points

QPR A By the time this game comes round Mark Hughes will have hit DefCon4. Expect a particularly ugly card fest 1 point

Blackburn H Whilst they sensationally beat Marnchesta Yanited they’ve achieved little else this term and if we screw this one up… 3 points

Aston Villa A If the our luxury coach can get past the burning effigies of McLiesh their lack of firepower should just about sink ’em 3 points

Fulham H If the Dutch Napolean’s Russian maintains his current form they will cause everyone problems including little ol’ us 1 point

So I say 22 points. What say you?

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161 comments

  • STUBS says:

    March 24th is the date we go to 4th and edging towards 5th.

  • Hartley says:

    Ahh well I see Coward Webb did what he does and the Arse luvin supporters of the Woolwich Travellers now think that it’s a foregone conclusion that they’re going to overtake the mighty Yids and that will be a successful season in their tiny little minds.
    The facts are, we are still ahead of them and we have a real chance at a trophy to boot….the only problem I can see is quite a big one actually….we have the players, we have the chairman….we definitely have the support, real fans who have taken it on the chin for far too many years, all we really need now is a manager who can deliver the package.
    Unfortunately the one we have chose for the job is the equivalent of a blind postman with no sense of direction who at some point in his life was caught shoplifting in one of the Arab states….
    We could still do it with Arry but the ‘one trophy in 30 years’ sort of suggest that we won’t, so let’s get rid, stick Pleaty in charge for a bit, cut our losses, look at the big picture and Dare to Do, before we are made to look like a laughing stock by the tactical genius and lifelong Ar5eana1 fan that is Arry Redschnapps…..(if you don’t believe me, google it)
    BIOYC!

  • notsohotspurs says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2114057/Harry-Redknapp-keen-England-job.html

    like this bit the best

    He said: ‘At an England game about two years ago I said, “I can’t believe we’re playing Steven Gerrard on the left wing”.

    ‘Fabio got the needle with me because he thought I had criticised him and he didn’t like it, but I was only giving him my opinion.’

  • melcyid says:

    three qouotes after the arse game 1 from whinger ,walnut and vermaleman all tawkin about us onee 1 point ahead. this bunch must be the most obsessed with us ever. We better be above them and with the FA cup at the end of ,they will be absolutely devastated love iiiiiiit

  • STUBS says:

    I would be loving it should it not be for the fact we are hitting are worst form in years! (I think last time we lost 3 in a row was under Ramos) coupled with Le Arse hitting their best form of the season.

    I hate to be a glass half full kinda guy but I am dreading the thought of finishing below them after all the bragging. Finishing outside of top 4 will require drastic measures, ie solitude or migration to a remote island for many months

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