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The Truth About Roberto Martinez

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Good morning.

Roberto Martinez, then. I have watched with what I can only describe as ‘some considerable confusion’ the adulation of the Wigan manager reach fever pitch. 

How the hell did this happen? 

Let’s start somewhere near the beginning and let’s stick to the facts of the matter, eh? As a manager he’s been accused of achieving much and being a rising star. SO what has he actually done? Well, to say he’s won nothing might be harsh, but it’s undeniably true. But he’s only been in management since 2007.

And so to the first myth. How many times have you read or been told in worldly wise manner that he ‘built’ Swansea? This week I’m hearing it with the frequency of time checks from Alan Partridge. 

Tony Bennett said that he never left so much as an umbrella in San Fransico. All Roberto Martinez left behind at Swansea was a forwarding address. Here’s a list of the current Swanse City squad:  

Gerhard Tremmel, Michel Vorm, Neil Taylor, Steven Caulker, Ferrie Bodde, Danny Graham, Scott Sinclair, Nathan Dyer, Wayne Routledge, Josh McEachran, Leroy Lita, Luke Moore, Darnel Situ, Joe Allen, Kemy Agustien, Mark Gower, Curtis Obeng, Ashley Richards, Scott Donnelly, Lee Lucas, Ben Davies, Joe Walsh, Daniel Alfei , Casey Thomas, Jordan Smith, Gwion Edwards, Kurtis March, Rory Donnelly, Gylfi Sigurdsson, Ashley Williams, Angel Rangel, Alan Tate, Leon Britton, Andrea Orlandi, Garry Monk and Federico Bessone*. 

The names in bold are those who played there at the same time Martinez was the manager of Swansea City. *Bessone was a free transfer brought in by Roberto in 2008 who then left but was then brought back by Brendan Rodgers.

Next up, his track record as  the Wigan manager. 

His first season in the Premiership was a memorable one for Spurs fans, of course. We beat them 9-1 . That game wasn’t exactly a blip for them. Chelsea also did them 8-0.  They escaped relegation on the last day of the season though, by beating Arsenal 2-3. Hurrah.

His second season was almost identical in every respect. Walloped by all and sundry. Yanited beat then 4-0 …but then so did Blackpool. They escaped relegation again on the last day of the season by beating Stoke.

So by contrast, this season was indeed a runaway success. Why because, Martinez woke up sooner and the relegation he had courted for months on end was swerved a few weeks ahead of schedule. 

His apologists will presumably now be found with underpants over their head and a pencil shoved up each nostril mumbling phrases like ‘limited resources’, ‘toughest league in the world.’

I have no kind words for you. 

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87 comments

  • A_Felching says:

    You are being a tart, Danny just give Roberto the job now and watch us win the league

  • Malcolm Lily White says:

    Couldnt agree more with the article. Its the normal media bollox, Over inflating, over hyping. The same goes for Brendan Rogers. Lets see how well Swansea do next year, I seem to remember the same bullshit about Ian Holloway.

  • Frontwheel 2 says:

    I’ve heard the problem is he has his best players sold from underneath him at the end of each season and it takes three quarters of a season to get back on track.
    Apart from coming across as a decent bloke who does a good interview(after kk this would be very welcome at the bindippers)I don’t see what he would have to offer us when/if Harry goes.By this time next week I think many good will have happened at the Lane.

  • Stubarney says:

    Hurrah, at last I read something I have thought for ages. I think Dave Whelan is the most honest chairman in the league but to say Martinez is the best manager he has ever had, I don’t get it? I know they are a small club but to fight relegation every year must be so depressing for Wigan fans.

    • Stupot says:

      Ah, to be a wigan fan. An exciting finale to every season. Its gotta be better than just finishing mid-table? Wigan fans are just fingernailess freaks, constantly nervous and twitchy. Just knowing another mauling is just around the corner. But boy, did they do us proud at the emptycrates. Why did you not go for it at Villa Arry, why settle for a draw? We are tottenham, super tottenham. We are tottenham, from the lane. Guts and glory, Blanchflower,Mackay,Chivers, Greaves, Ardiles, Hoddle, Gazza, Klinsmann, Ginola, Bassong. Do you despise us that much twitchydroop. GERROUT NOW.

  • Malcolm Lily White says:

    FrontWheel 2, R u Suggesting Arrys gonna be on his way nextweek? Do you know something thats going on down the lane re: signings? I know the Ajax boys had talks and Remys been mentioned. I guess alot depends on Saturday night.

    • Frontwheel 2 says:

      I know sweet eff aye,just hoping.

    • hoofing says:

      Saturday night is indeed awaited on by egotistical mercenary players who hold clubs to ransom with this ‘want to play in the CL’ tripe. Yes the dosh is good but to hand the keys to a manager mentioned above is suicidal. He’s mediocre and is inflated. The club is carrying a lot of dead wood….. When the blue racists lose expect movement in the marketplace next week as the boards CL strategy kicks in. Got my crate of Becks ready.

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