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We Want To Buy, But The Blue Racists Only Want To Loan Him

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Good evening.

Daniel Sturridge.

I’m told negotiations have been ongoing for about a week and where we’re at is that as of this evening a loan could be done, but we would prefer to buy the Second Hand Fridge frontman.

How do I feel about this? Thank you for asking. I think he’s good stuff. the interesting dynamic here is as per André Villas-Boas, the Team GB boy has plenty to prove and where better to do it than in the Lilywhite.

Sturridge at virtually any other Premier League outfit would be a first choice, first team regular. But having £50m quids worth of chairman’s darling in front of you can hold even the most dedicated of chaps back.

I recall the old Jackie Mason line,  ‘at 20 Jewish women want a doctor or a lawyer! But by 35, they’ll marry a chair‘ and the fear of being linked with every piece of striking driftwood come the last half hour of the transfer window is the fear that urks all Spurs fans right now.

Time is running out but I think it would be a cheap shot to look at Sturridge as if he were a chair. He’s not perhaps in the same excitement bracket as some of the names we’ve been linked with for some, but I’d be very happy to ship him in. He knows the league, he knows Villas-Boas and he knows that he won’t get a better opportunity to really fly than this.

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224 comments

  • MysteriousStranger says:

    Similar to *****, except West Ham want to loan him, and we only want to sell.

  • Steveo1987 says:

    So ***** is playing but so is Livermore. I’ve watched Levermore few times. Ok, He’s a young player but most of the time he’s fairly anonymous. ***** mk 2.

    • Astro Spur says:

      I agree bout Livermore, dont see why he’s getting in the team.

      • MysteriousStranger says:

        Cos it’s preseason, Parker’s injured, Sandro is with the Brazilian Olympic team. He’s not yet 23 years old. If he gets to 25 without making any progress we can directly compare him to *****! Especially if the penny hasn’t dropped at the club and we haven’t offloaded him when it gets to that stage!

  • MysteriousStranger says:

    Defenders back off, 30 yard highlight screamer for Valencia. 1-0 them.

  • MysteriousStranger says:

    Jonas, to be specific.

  • Astro Spur says:

    Would be better than nothing, but just about! Why would we need another younger Defoe, greedy, and good enough for spurs 3 or 4 years ago, not now.

    There’s a reason why he doesn’t get in chelscum’s 1st team, and its not just because of Torres, so why would he be good enough for us? Another overrated english player.

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