Good evening.
This transfer window has been torturous. My best guess is that it the need for copious amounts of booze and good humour will only increase as we move ever onwards towards Saturday’s game against the Bar Codes like flies towards that purple light thing in the chip shop before we hear that last fizzipsch!
Here’s some rubbish to capture the mood, buy it a dandelion and burdock and perhaps provide an outlet fort the insanity. Apologies to The Usual Suspects.
- Funniest caption suggestion wins the major prize.
- HH’s decision is final. No cash alternatives.
- Your home may be at risk if you go out and leave all the doors and windows open.
- Lines close at midnight tonight although if I can connive some way of charging you afterwards, rest assured I will.
DL- Tommy I think young Luca here was traumatised as a child.
TC-How did that happen Daniel ?
DL- As a boy of 8 young Luca came home from school to find his pet chicken laying on the ground with it’s legs pointing straight up to the sky. When his dad got home he explained that the chicken had died and it’s legs we’re pointing up to Jesus in Heaven.
They buried the chicken and that was that.
Two weeks later his dad came home from work and little Luca ran up to him yelling,”Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mummy today.”
“What ?” his dad replied.
Luca said,”When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, Jesus, I’m coming, Jesus I’m coming, If it hadn’t been for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure !”
Tommy:Luka turns up for training wearing clingfilm for shorts:
Levy says “I can clearly see you’re nuts”
Ha ha ha!
Luka was in his car, driving along, and Daniel rang up, and he said
‘You’ve been promoted.’ And Luka swerved.
And then he rang up a second time and said “You’ve been promoted again.’
And Luka swerved again.
He rang up a third time and said ‘You’re managing director.’
And Luka went into a tree.
And a policeman came up and said ‘What happened to you?’
And Luka said ‘I careered off the road.
Police arrested Luka and Dan yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bullshit before