Date: 2nd November 2012 at 12:14pm
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Good afternoon fight fans.

The weekend is upon us. Once again, here are my lopsided, off-beam and wide of the mark predictions. Enjoy.

vs Arsenal

This could well end in Gooner tears would be my gut reaction. Arsenal ‘languishing’ in 6th place have strong enough form but Manchester United know that Spurs are the only recent blip on their record and the corresponding fixture last season finished 8-2. On an upbeat note, this Manchester United side are shipping in – by their own standards – a whopping amount of goals. So Arsene needs to abandon any plans to play chess and go for the throat. Prediction 4-1.

Fulham vs Everton

Old is doing goodly works at Craven Cottage. He’s only been beaten once in his last 6 games and that was by City. Moyes has drawn his last 3 but they were against what I would call ‘niggly’ opposition, Liverpool, and QPR. So 7th play 5th and it all looks teed up for a big game. I wouldn’t be surprised if they cancelled each other out. Prediction 1-1.

Norwich vs Stoke

Ah, the glamour tie. Prediction 1-4 or something.

Sunderland  vs Aston Villa

Based upon their contribution to football over the past 20 years or so both of these clubs should have been served with winding up orders. Lambert is the Peter Principle personified. Martin O’Neill is one of this most respected managers in the Premier League™. Prediction 3-1.

Swansea vs Chelsea

I’ve a hunch that this ‘Clatternberk’ thing is going to blow up in the Blue Racists’ faces. The allegations don’t stack up and it now emerges the star witness speaks less English than Ian Holloway. Chelsea sit top of the table and have 22 points. Twice that of the Swansea. Really difficult to believe that the chav gits will do anything but win here. Predicton 1-5.

Tottingham vs

Up the faky Spurs! The Moussa news is grim. Very grim indeed. We’re wandering toward a point whereby the January window is closer than some of the likely due back dates. I’m worried about Sandro dying before Parker comes back. I’m terrified about Brad’s distribution and I’m worried that Levy & Co won’t do the right thing and spend in January. Mend & make do ain’t the way forward. Prediction 1-1. There, I said it.

West Ham vs

This could be a bit of a laugh, half worth watching. A bit like a re-run episode of ‘The Good Life.’ Not laugh out loud funny but heart warming if the Hammers get stuffed of Andy ‘loose horse’ Carroll gets a hattrick. Half worth watching for a breathless finish from a City star. Like a nice glimpse of Felicity Kendal in a tight sweater. Prediction 2-9.

QPR vs Reading

Boy this could plumb new depths. I must apologise for the earlier swipe made at and Villa. If you believe this week’s red tops this is Mark Hughes’ last game in charge. Unless he wins. Or doesn’t get sacked. Nobody’s being too vocal about what happens in the event of a draw. Reading are going back to the Championship with, ‘not known at this address’ scrawled across them in a cold, unloving hand. Prediction 2-2.

vs United

I’m really beginning to get a hate on for Liverpool. In fact it’s reached the point where I’m irritated by the fact that they didn’t annoy me this much sooner. Why was I so slow to become bothered by them? Suarez to get a yellow or better has to be a decent punt. have got player’s agents troubles and I wouldn’t be shocked to see Pardew making several moves in January. This is very much a ‘holding it together’ period. Prediction 2-3.

West Brom vs

I can’t see Adkins surviving another loss, yet do The Saints really want to bring in our old pal Arry? He’s the only man who would make any sense and quite possibly the only man who could save them. Impossible to see Steve Clarke doing anything other than putting a club on the floor out of it’s misery. West Brom don’t stop playing after 50 minutes and so… Prediction 3-0.