Hotspur’s Hunches #12

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Well here we are then ladies. This week’s runners, riders and me the mug punter’s mug punter guiding you down the quickest path to bankruptcy and daytime drinking.

Arsenal vs Tottingham Hotspur

This is rapidly becoming an game of last man standing. We know who we are without. This is Arsene Wenger on his own physio room woes: “Apart from long-term injuries I get a bit confused because we have so many players who come back with injuries or small injuries. We need to see how they are today. Szczesny, Sagna, Walcott, Chamberlain, Arteta, Giroud – there are so many – I think I will need a few doctors this morning.Arteta has a little hip problem and Giroud has come back with a hamstring and calf problem.”

So what’s the prediction? I said 5-5 on the podcast and I’ve no inclination to try and guess again. Our problem beyond having an iffy midfield will be playing for the full 95 minutes or whatever we get.

Hotspur's Half Hour

Liverpool vs Wigan

Two of the greatest football managers in living memory go head to head in what experts are already calling ‘the three o’clock game at Anfield.’ Bob Martinez travels still with the scent of his last away win fresh in his hooter. David Brentdon Rodgers is unbeaten in 6 and has perfected talking to the press in deep, reverential and breathtakingly over sincere tones. The Rodgers drinking game ‘hot words’ are ‘respectful’, ‘fans’, ‘tradition’, ‘belief’ and ‘felch’. 

This has a barely legible 1-1 through it like a morbidly dull past it’s sell by date, bit chipped and the wrapper coming away stick of rock.

Manchester City vs Aston Villa

Villa mope 5th from bottom. A bit early for a relegation scrap but if they think they have more to offer the world than the likes of QPR, Reading or Southampton they might be in for a shock. City have yet to click through the gears. Which if you are sitting second in the Premier League ain’t no disaster. Predicting a walloping is hardly the work of a genius. Prediction 2-1.

Newcastle United vs Swansea City

Alan Pardew is looking more and more Phillip Schofield’s older brother. The one that went into a different strand of show business. Think £10 for a room temperature bottle of beer, £15 for a flute of something fizzy being passed of as Champagne. Micheal Laudrup looks like an area manager for Knickerbox. This game looks like a 2-2 draw.

QPR vs Southampton

For those who delight in slowing down to gawp at car crashes and significantly sized bits of roadkill etc this is a much watch. Who’ll win? Dunno. What is 100% nailed on is that the post match presser from the losing manager will be the prayer of a condemned man. My perception is that Saints fans don’t want Adkins’ head on a plate. They’ve just kinda overshot the club’s abilities. Mark Hughes could be replaced by Henry James Redknapp before he gets home and has a chance to start necking whiskey out of the bottle. Prediction? 1-1.

Reading vs Everton

The unchecked arrogance of some Spurs fans kills me. That David Moyes would’ve sacked off Everton and joined us if Levy & Co. had clicked a finger. Yeah, right. Critics of AVB might wish to wait until the poor schmuck has a proper first XI to field. But until then Moyes is a darling. McDermott will have his work cut out. Prediction 1-2.

West Brom vs Chelsea

Funny old game, eh? Steve Clarke is a man who like say Roy Hodgson – despite a decent CV – has slipped under the radar. Yet 11 games in and with 20 points under his belt it’s not looking like a fluke. The Blue Racists have already won away at Spurs and Arsenal so this will be what we call in the trade, ‘interesting’. Prediction 1-2.

Norwich vs Manchester United

Clipboard Chris takes on the most successful functional alcoholic ever or at least he’s up there with the bloke who devised the 20 Chilli Cheese Bites box for Burger King. Prediction? I’d love a 2-2, but it won’t happen. 1-4

The Sunday games – tomorrow.

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  • Yid Vicious says:

    I’d rip your hand off for a draw to be honest but I’m going for 2-1 to the Mighty Spurs out of blind loyalty.

  • woooothereboy says:

    A hammering is in the offering I fear.

  • cookiebun says:

    There are many injuries that we wouldn’t wish for, plus the fact that we have some fine young players that we need to introduce, not to keep the bench warm, but to integrate into the first team. They look to me as though they are ready and need to be tested. Look at Raheem Sterling and Wilshire, they have been integrated into Liverpool and Arsenal respectively and have been given the freedom to express themselves and have cut the mustard, big time. Our ‘first team players’ are running around as though they have ‘pokers’ up their backsides they look so restricted by the instructions they are playing to. We need our young players out there, expressing themselves and in-case anyone is worried that they wouldn’t abide with the AVB way of playing, surely the entire ‘Tottenham family of players’ from induction, through to the first team are being tutored into the AVB system. This game doesn’t mean any more than a three pointer, as far as points go, but it means everything as far as introducing young energetic players into the system. Gallas and Vertongen look knackered as do Lennon and Defoe. We need to introduce Falque, Carroll and Prichhard at least and rotate properly. Not after the Arsenal game, but right now. AVB is showing his stubbornness by not making Llauris his No. 1 goalie, but he is persevering with Livermore, Hudd and Gallas and his only reason for doing this is fear. So far he has proven nothing that any one of the nineteen managers in the Premiership wouldn’t have proven. It’s time he stood up and done something to show why Levy choose him.

  • TMWNN says:

    With only one decent player in the centre of the park for us, Sandro, I can’t see us winning. If that dozy lump Huddlestone plays, we’ll lose.

  • half_baked_spuds says:

    hmmmn not too many youngsters in a north london derby methinks! ness we want a right trumping again….
    Must admit I’m not confident having seen recent performances, we look a shadow of last season, not necessarily all avb’s fault; levy must take a huge slice of the blame for cocking up the tranfer window. he did liverpool a huge favour hijacking siggy and dempsey. but avb’s subs have me puzzled; i think he actually draws names out of a hat. we MUST play ade behind defoe instead of dempsey or we are going nowhere fast (just like dempsey now). we should build our team around our best 3 attacking assets; bale, defoe and adebayor. start looking dangerous again, and we MUST pick up the tempo somehow; at moment we look as dangerous as chelsea pensioners. obviously injuries havent helped.
    if things dont improve soon then i really fear for avb which is a shame cos he seems a nice bloke, at moment most teams must fancy us for points. hr’s late season blip which saw us slump to 4th (how dreadful) is looking insignificant in comparison…have we scored a home goal here?

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