Tottenham’s Next Manager

I have a feeling in my water. It might simply be a hazardously full catheter, or it could be a sense that Arry is becoming increasingly teed orf with the Tottinghams faithful. He has every right to be miffed.

Spurs are arguably playing some of their most entertaining and successful football since the Boer war and still the deep groans and booing is only seconds away from being unleashed.2 points from 8 games when he came in, Champions League football and all that.

Arry knows damn well that he is a front runner for Fabio’s job. It’s a role he was made for and one he wants. Here’s my top 5 candidates for step into his still warm loafers…

Timothy Sherwood

Pros – After a conveyor belt of duff strangers it has been mooted that an inside job may produce better results. I have an irrational dislike of Sherwood. He just has a cadish look about him. This might make for a good thing if he were successful as I wouldn’t need to wait for him to make a balls of it before a went for his jugular. Cons – He’s a cad.

Chris ‘Hughts’ Hughton

Pros – The closest thing you can get to Martin Jol with being bear hugged and ending up smelling of John Player Specials. Armed with only a Staples account card and a gang of coke sniffing, bird roasting, street fighting modern day visi goths, he has managed Newcastle with some aplomb. Cons – Another ‘devil you know’.

Jose Mourinho

Pros – Belter of a manager. Linked with every managerial job this side of Tibet. This of course is fueled by the man himself who announces every 3 days that he misses some country or another, is always looking for the ultimate challenge, likes airplane food etc etc etc. Cons – More chance of Slur Alex going teetotal.

Dame Vera Lynn

Pros – This would be the ultimate in appointing a completely English manager. She knows how to slug it out against the Europeans, is permanently cheery and comes complete with bundles of songs for the terraces. Why have Fat Sam when you can have Slim Lynn? Cons – May be die any minute.

Louis Walsh

Pros – His management abilities precede him. This is the man who turned 2 talentless South County Dublin fresh facedyoungsters into millionaires and to the best of my knowledge without selling their orifices to wealthy Arabs. Cons – Come On You Spurs! would stand a good chance of being be changed to Cooee! You Spurs!