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Missing Person – Please Help – Small Reward

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Good morning. Now pay attention.

The man we are looking for is one Alan Longsocks Hutton, street name Generalissmo Franco Begbie . When standing up he he is 6’1″. Early indicators are that he is not injured in the conventional sense. There is no record of him on Physioroom.com or indeed Tottenham’s official site (although they have a splendedt interview with our new goalkeeper, Patrick Jennings).

Recent sightings include an audition for Celebrity Come Dancing at Craven Cottage and a bit part in Scotland vs Someone Else, the motion picture.

‘Franco’ is believed to be still in the London area and extreme caution is advised if approached. Scientists are still grappling to explain how a young man from Penilee in Glasgow when showered weekly in tens of thousands of pounds and a near infinite variety of the capital’s iniquitous dens and juicers could become distracted.

When this impressionable young man arrived in N17 in 2008 with nothing but a thin film of sweat on his forehead and a pocket full of Stay Plus, his enthusiasm was nearly unstoppable, he told Mr Levy, ‘…pleasure. It’s like, my pleasure in other people’s leisure.’

Ordinarily nobody would be that concerned but after the attempted murder of Charlie on Tuesday night our need for a right back has suddenly become urgent. This blog is hereby offering the cash sum of 72 new pence for his safe return.

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75 comments

  • david says:

    On the basis we have a better chance of beating L’Arse than Barca, would it be the end of the World if the Scum knocked them out of the CL ?

    • Astromesmo says:

      Said self same to the missus last night. Of course, I also said that Betamax was better than VHS and backed Laser Disc all the way, so who am I to say.

      • munso says:

        For improving our chances of getting further in the champions league, yeah, arsenal every day.
        I could not see us getting past Barca over 2 legs.

        But, wouldn’t everyone else love to see them get ripped a new one in at the Camp Nou in 3 weeks time?
        I would for sure, and I’ve got a V2000 up in the loft!

      • MysteriousStranger says:

        I still buy vinyl, have a DCC Player and a MiniDisc player as well.

        8 Track all the way.

        Should have bought a DAT player, but convinced myself that the backward compatability of DCC would see it through.

        Nowadays all you really need is a hard drive. So most of the kids would have me believe :pirat:

        • MysteriousStranger says:

          Now of course, I realise DCC was just backward. :-D

          Betamax provided a much better picture than VHS.

          I’m still on DVDs, haven’t embraced BluRay. I’m sure there’s something due to trump that even. Technology is simultaneously great and annoying.

          I’ve still got a CRT telly in my living room, though it is a good one. Ready for a 1080p (missing out the HD Ready, smart wasn’t I?), and now there’s all this 3D malarkey. What to do? Plasma, LED, LCD? :ermm:

          Either way as soon as you buy something there’ll be something “that much better” around the corner.

        • melcyid says:

          Im still trying to find a spurs stream on my vic 20. any ideas.

        • Astromesmo says:

          Don’t get me started on 8-Track… There was something so comforting about that KERRR-CHUNK sound.

          Happy days as a child riding shotgun in Dad’s Granada with sole responsibility for ‘sounds’… Enough wire going to the speakers on the parcel shelf to stretch from here to Blackpool. Genius.

    • MysteriousStranger says:

      Back to the question, with a question.

      Can we meet an English team in the quarters? Or do they still keep us apart?

      • david says:

        Believe we can draw anyone in next round, including Inter or any of the other English teams.
        I got a Sky HD box and originally thought their was little difference between HD and non HD.
        Having got used to it, there is a clear improvement in HD, particularly when watching sport.
        My HD box has gone tits up in the last week meaning I cannot get some channels, so am expecting the repair man coming tomorrow to tell me I need a new one.
        This one is 3 years old and out of warranty now.
        I went from a 32″ £1600 CRT to a 42″ £800 plasma.
        Have to say the picture quality difference not that obvious and some ball sports (tennis & football) sometimes spoilt by juddering on the plasma which never happened on the CRT.
        Big advantage with Plasma it is only 4″ deep instead of 4 feet and it throws off so much heat you can turn your central heating down!
        These TV’s have become so cheap now, you can buy mine new for £450.

        • MysteriousStranger says:

          Re: Your Sky box going tits up, you can perhaps do a “hard reset” (I did this with my box – albeit not an HD one) following some clear instructions I found on a forum – after a bit of googling.

          The upside was my box suddenly worked again and it cost me nada. The downside was I lost all my recorded/saved programmes, not a great hardship – and infinitely preferable to paying £70 for them to do the same thing or have to pay for a new box I didn’t really need.

          Might be worth a little search yourself.

        • david says:

          Thanks for that info, I am resigned to losing all my stored stuff anyway, so will have a look on t’internet to see what instructions I can find.
          No Spurs game this weekend, what are we to do ?

  • Steveo1987 says:

    A game against Barcelona would be interesting. The fact is l’arse play a similar game to them i.e tippy tappy ball retention stuff. Whereas we mix it up a bit. I would rather play the Spanish TBH. I couldn’t live with it if we we lost to them down the road in the CL.

    • david says:

      Think we have a better chance of beating L’Arse but at the same time will be happier once they cannot win the competition.
      Would like my cake and eat it.

    • Astromesmo says:

      I think I’m with you on that… Would love to turn the Catalans over after they knock out Les Baguettes.

  • bukkake-breath says:

    If we do beat them cheating wops id be happy to play barcalona, I really don’t think they would know how to handle us especially with the glossy publicity, and if we drew say,Copenhagen we probably get complacent.

  • Kojac says:

    fuck that,let the scum get demolished

    would love barcelona at the lane,what a treat and a visit to camp nou doesn’t get bigger than that

  • Kojac says:

    and we have to beat milan at the lane

    lets not start sucking dicks yet

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