Blackpool

Van der Vaart Hurts Baby Cow

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Mornin’.

Tangerines away it is. Negatives other than the abject squalor of the town itself out the way first then. Our physio bench is once again to die for… VdV calf strain again (hence the daft headline), Charlie still recovering from an assassination attempt, Krankie, Wooders, King, Thud and Bale all writhing with gout.

This is only leaves us –  excluding the Dutchman – with the journeymen dregs of the squad what beat Italian giants AC Milan at the San Siro last week. So what does that say? I tells me in louder tones than a whisper that we’ll batter them. Battered tangerines. One of our pal, LOTW’s 5 a day.

Blackpool arrived in the premiership looking like a brand new shiny happy thing. Sunshine on a stick. A troupe of unheard of players all as keen as custard led by the quintessential seaside cheeky chappy. The landlady had a wink in her eye, the fairy lights burned brightly, the candy floss was extra fluffy and the livin’ was easy.

Then reality hit Blackpool like a Tom & Jerry safe free-falling from the tenth floor. Splat. The hot dogs were cancelled due a Health & Hygiene Order. The shops, bars, so called nightclubs and hotels’ fixtures and fittings in Blackpool are worth more than their receipts.

Blackpool’s borrowed time is  like watching a piece of film you’ve seen before in slow motion. Not gloating, just calling it as I see it. Whatever Holloway had going on evaporated before Charlie Adam became the white Flava Flav. The reality is that Blackpool came like too many before them into the Premiership ill equipped for the task ahead and I’m not talking about under-soil heating.

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Looking for way to feed and slurp myself I see Azza Blud as man who may skin a few tangerines tonight (see what I did there?) and Anytime Scorer in a modest 0-2 win is just dandy at 25/1.


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337 comments

  • Harry Hotspur says:

    This reply function sucks. FFS!!!!!

  • Kojac says:

    well maybe we should have gone with the 4-5-1 we’ve been playing most of the season with pav up top with modric,palace,sandro,peanut and lennon but we’ll never know now

    gallas should have stayed in the middle but we had no choice i guess

    does this mean charlie is our only right back now and gallas will play there until he is back

    • Harry Hotspur says:

      Good Greebling.

      I’m so bloody annoyed that Peanut conned Arry/us he was a worth a spin as an attacking threat.

      Where’s me washboard?

  • onedavemackay says:

    The problem is numerical.

    We play better with five across the middle. Tonight we should have started with Nico (the bloke who’s scored a couple of times recently) playing off Pav. This would not have negated three soft goals but we might have scored more.

    Arry’s obsession with playing Defoe till he scores is naive. He now has to sit on the bench until the opportunity arrives but for my money JD is a 4 4 2 monkey and this zoo works better with 4 5 1

  • Kojac says:

    harry said he wants defoe to go on one of those 8/9 scoring runs :face:

    i just hope he is pissed as we are,we aren’t playing until next weekend now unless we play midweek

    good job,wouldn’t fancy the goons without a right back and square pegging

    • AFelching says:

      He should have put Wilson at right back and left Gallas where he was, all he has done is fuck up team confidence. You have to question Harry loaning out Walker to Villa, inspired :shocked2:

      • Kojac says:

        yep,surely we can call back naughty and walky :ermm:

        • MysteriousStranger says:

          As many have suggested Walker cannot be called back as he is playing for a Premiership team, but I’d assume we can recall Naughton from Leicester City without issue.

          One can point the finger all day at Redknapp/the club’s “stupidity” for giving these players competitive playing opportunities – remember we have no reserve team so theoretically this experience will be vital in their development – however once again the injury issue rears it’s ugly head and well, fuck only knows what the deal is with Alan Hutton who seems to have vanished into thin air. Perhaps he went to Libya to become one of Gaddafi’s mercenary soldiers?

          While we’re at it, although abandoning the reserve team (dropping out of the Premier Reserve League South) may have seemed like a good idea at the time, I’m not so sure our stagnating strikers would agree so much.

  • AS says:

    We have known the strikers were not delivering for over a year but ignored the problem in the transfer windows.
    I know we operate to tight budgets but if we miss the CL because we cannot score then we lose a fortune. That is bad for the team and bad business too.

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