Morning.
Is there another football club like us? Our players take to the pitch a creaky PA system blasting some macho Star Wars tune. Our intrepid boys ought charge out to The Entry Of The Gladiators.
Just as I thought we were on a reprieve from the day to day idiocies of life in the N17 fast lane – news from yonder Evening Standard breaks. Clive Allen has given Jermain Defoe a Jimmy Greaves golden goal compilation video.
Innocent enough you might think. Until you discover it was in the guise of a ‘How To Guide.’
This is not so much the equivalent of handing a runner up in Masterchef a copy of the latest Gordon Ramsey book, it’s more like handing a fully qualified airplane pilot with a major carrier snapshots of crashed aircraft, smoldering twisted metal, dead bodies and bits of luggage scattered about with the word, ‘BAD’ in block capitals subtitled on them.
Typically Tottenham. Full of good intention but woefully shy of achieving anything you’d actually want to confess you’d had a go at. How did we get to the shameful state of affairs whereby a one time goal machine is being thrown old bones like this and actually sharing with major newspaper that they,‘taste real good!’?
It’s insane. Do you think that Andy Murray watches old Pathe News footage of Fred Perry when his form’s on the wane? Do you think Wayne Rooney will be having both knees replaced as a 70th birthday present to himself? Will Didier Drogba have to sell his medals to keep all three bars on his gas fire come the autumn of his years?
No of course not. The modern game is almost unrecognisable from how it was 20 years ago, let alone 40 or 50. I like Clive Allen, but this smacks of something more desperate than even your average common or garden desperation.
I could have Jermain back and pumping ’em in like a man on the razz with Berlusconi in a matter of hours. All you do is show him endless footage of him knocking the ball to his right foot, hunching and ‘kapow!ing’ it to the keeper’s feet and every time he does it on the tape you clip him round the back of the head and shout ‘idiot!’ at him.
Seems harsh I admit, but we’re not exactly dealing with Neil Armstrong here, are we? Maybe we could get him a tape on ‘Doing Up Shoelaces’ or ‘Using Cutlery’.
If I didn’t know better I’d say old Clive was taking the …….
He shoots at the middle of the goal, unfortunately thats usually where the goalkeeper is. Damned intelligent these goalkeepers!
Wow Sunderland have Zeroed Arsenal thins Wenger has blamed weight watchers who are running free membership in the Sunderland area. Lets hope its not the same in Wolverhampton or we are in for a bizzy weekend. The Lad Walker has showed Harry what he is missing Ashley Young has shown Harry he is ready for Spurs after he missed another penalty. West Ham have shown they just needed the Olympic stadium to win games and there new fitness coach Dwane Chambers ex drug cheat said he expects West Ham sprint away from the dreaded drop. Mean while City Slims are looking Hungry (its the diet) for a win and Wigan’s al Hopeless is gifting them one. Mr Toure has complained to the police somone has stole 17 slimming pills Kolo said its not him because he is watching his brother running is socks of
When you say “one time goal machine” I take it this is solely a reference to that Wigan game? :sideways:
Harry you old timer, the joke is on you and your pathetic meaningless blog. What a load of dribble. Why talk in riddles you fool?
GREAVES USED TO DO A LOAD OF DRIBBLE,DO YOU MEAN JIMMY RIDDLES?
I was reading this and thinking, ‘what a load of drivle’.
Then I realised I was on Harry Hotspur. Makes sense.
Watching Greaves can only help. Defoe needs serious help with learning about having a football brain.
He’s always been a waste, so much power in his shot and he has pace but his movement, awareness, technique is sorely lacking.
When he gets space he is deadly because he has room to get space and use his shot. When HE has to open it up with movement, intelligence and use quality finishes you get 0 goals in 17 games.
Teams defend tougher and in more numbers against us now. You need quality movement, awareness, touches and calm finishing. That’s why you need top class strikers like we had with Berbatov and Keane. The closest we have now is Pav or if Keane was to come back and get a proper run to regain his spark and sharpness or if Gio is actually tried up front he may burst into life.
Crouch and Defoe are painfully average unfortunately and always have been. Videos of Greaves can only help.