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The List That Arry Redschnapps Must Not See

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Mornin’ fight fans.

I woke up relatively refreshed this morning but after 2o minutes of Ronnie Irani’s drivel the temptation to hit the Hibernation button and return to the ol’ John Lewis goose n’ duck down was almost overwhelming.

It wasn’t just listening to a Stockholm syndromed plastic Yanited fan (I guess that spending 4 hours a day with Alan Brazil would crack the best of us into becoming nodding dogs) it was the grim thought of wading through the bleating Spurs fans online today.

I guess what I’m really saying is whilst I don’t expect any Yids to nip outand buy a Cheatski shirt on their lunch break this afternoon, I’d really like it if we could show some spine and not cluck about like wet hens over one bid. There will be at least two more.

If Arry doesn’t know at this stage that if he sells Modders he’s welcome to follow him out the door then the man’s a fool. And so to our tight lipped supremo…

Arry’s had his eyes opened coming to us. Sure, he dealt with that whole Portsmouth/Southampton rivalry business which was probably hairy enough in it’s own way – but that was dealing with largely inarticulate types like that nutter with the tatts and the dreads and the bell.

Tottenham fans have made him very much more aware of his own self preservation than anywhere else he’s plied his trade. Our presence at The Lane and online is frequently unforgiving. When the disappointment at not achieving Champions League was tangible his immediate response was to brand fans ‘idiots’.

Part of me thinks that his constant calls to talkSPORT et al are in keeping with a nervous guy who can’t stop talking. It’s as if he’s testing the water. Never forget, Hossam Ghaly at the time wasn’t a bad call for an impact sub. The chants from the crowd were enough for Arry to do a u-turn on bringing him on.

We have been told that an number of players have been passed on. Unbelievably,  Luis Suarez was one. And this hesitancy is becoming a feature of his managerial make up; so he aims for players he believes he can completely trust so he isn’t crucified by us. Nailed on lads with two feet who’ll runaround a bit and do extra training without being asked.

His model is Lampard. But Lampards are rarer than rocking horse poo. So what ends up in the Redschnapps viewfinder are the likes of Scotty Parker and gawd help us Charlie Adam. So now it’s our fault? In part, yes.

So what about the ‘eadline H you old rogue? This is then from the Grauniad and some names on there that may well send a shiver down your collective spine. But not in a good way.


Arsenal Thomas Cruise, Roarie Deacon, Mark Randall

Aston Villa Durrell Berry, John Carew, Ellis Deeney, Calum Flanagan, Harry Forrester, Arsenio Halfhuid, Isaiah Osbourne, Robert Pires, Nigel Reo-Coker, Moustapha Salifou

Birmingham City Marcus Bent, Lee Bowyer, Sebastian Larsson, James McFadden, Mitchell McPike, James O’Shea, Stuart Parnaby, Kevin Phillips, Daniel Preston, Luke Rowe, Robin Shroot, Maik Taylor

Blackburn Rovers Jordan Bowen, Jason Brown, Zurab Khizanishvili, Benjani Mwaruwari, Michael Potts, Maceo Rigters

Blackpool David Carney, Daniel Coid, Ishmel Demontagnac, Rob Edwards, Jason Euell, Marlon Harewood, Richard Kingson, Malaury Martin, Paul Rachubka, Andy Reid, Salaheddine Sbai

Bolton Wanderers Tamir Cohen, Johan Elmander, Ricardo Gardner, Joey O’Brien, Jlloyd Samuel, Samuel Sheridan

Chelsea Samuel Hutchinson, Carl Magnay, Danny Philliskirk, Jan Sebek, Michael Woods

Everton Kieran Agard, Hope Akpan, Nathan Craig, Gerard Kinsella, Lee McArdle, Iain Turner

Fulham Zoltan Gera, Edward Johnson, Diomansy Kamara, John Pantsil, Matthew Saunders

Liverpool Jason Banton, Deale Chamberlain, Douglas Cooper, Sean Highdale, Steven Irwin, Nikola Saric

Manchester City Javier Garrido, Scott Kay, James Poole, Shaleum Logan, Andrew Tutte, Javan Vidal, Patrick Vieira, James Wood

Manchester United Conor Devlin, Owen Hargreaves, Gary Neville, Paul Scholes, Edwin van der Sar

Newcastle United Sol Campbell, Shefki Kuqi, Patrick McLaughlin

Stoke City Abdoulaye Faye, Eidur Gudjohnsen, Ibrahima Sonko

Sunderland Michael Kay, Nathan Luscombe, Daniel Madden, Robert Weir, Nathan Wilson, Mvoto Jean-Yves, Bolo Zenden

Tottenham Hotspur Jonathan Woodgate

West Bromwich Albion Giles Barnes, Marcus Haber, Dean Kiely, Abdoulaye Méîté

West Ham United Anthony Edgar, Holmar Eyjolfsson, Daniel Gabbidon, Lars Jacobsen, Filip Modelski, Jonathan Spector, Adam Street, Matthew Upson

Wigan Athletic Steven Caldwell, Daniel De Ridder, Joseph Holt, Jason Koumas, Thomas Lambert, Thomas Oakes, Francis Pollitt, Abian Serrano Davila

Wolverhampton Wanderers Adriano Basso, Jody Craddock, John Dunleavy, Marcus Hahnemann, David Jones, Nathan Rooney

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