Good morning and welcome aboard the good ship Venus.
Having gone rummaging through all the usual and indeed unusual cyber dustbins here in just one URL is where transfer wise, we is at.
Talk of 3MP to Stoke or even Sunderland jack-knifed courtesy of Redschnapp himself. Arry told us after the City fiasco that Pete had come to him all doe eyed wanting to know if the paper talk was true. If a striker as unproductive as he had an ounce of self respect in him, instead of bleating over gossip columns he’d have been more useful cold calling Clubs to ask about vacancies.
David Betley’s name was being mentioned in Blackburn circles, but even the chicken fetus magnates are happier to look at elsewhere, or more accurately, anywhere else. So that’s another one who’s hoovering up salary and contributing zip.
And this is the case with all the two other Family Favourites, Begbie and *****. ***** isn’t for sale. I’ll qualify that. He is, but he’s not on the ONO shelf with Bentley. He can’t be. As all these little half tales of transfers filter out, *****’ name is never mentioned.
Krankie wants to stay I’ve been told. He was sick of not getting a game and with the World’s Greatest Footballer™ Peanut injured, Arry has snatched at the chance to put him in the shop window.
And so for those self harmers still concious, but dripping profusely into the Axminster …it’s the incoming news!
Scott Parker is en route. Joe Cole is on his way like a Bat Out Of Hell – or at least a Mong Of Merseyside.
Scott Parker we know about. It’s the spirit of Bobby Moore that courses through his veins. Get ups in the morning, full English, off to the barbers, picks up some flowers for his dear old mum from Buster Edwards’ old stall and straight in for double training. Then home via Manze’s for a slap up.
Joe Cole is a mystery. Not mysterious like how the hell did the Mormon Church ever take off? Mysterious as in how come Arry thinks he’s going to play him when Jose Mourinho and Kneny Dalglish have both emphatically tossed him onto the ‘not even in the event of an emergency’ pile? Maybe that’s it, maybe should knock this football lark on the head and say he’s found ‘some plates’ in his garden.
Diarra is done. Done and dusted. Well the collective wisdom of every ITK can’t be wrong, can it? Yean I know the player has said there is no deal, but what would he know about it? Has he got an ITK badge and hundreds of slavering ten year olds hanging on his every word? No he does not. Case closed. It’s done.
And now Owen Hargreaves’ name has been thrown into the mixer. I can only image this is related to a recent injunction taken out by Michael Owen against THFC to ensure he isn’t embarrassed by having his name linked with us at 1145pm on Wednesday …again.
Another name tagged on in the last few days is that of Gary Cahill. He’s good stuff, but if we get pipped by the reluctant spender Aunty Wenger then someone at WHL wants to have a serious look at themselves.
Now if you’ll excuse me I must attend to the riggin’.
The player’s we have been linked with are shocking im glad hargreaves having a medical at citeh and lille want ol joey cole on loan bet harry’s crying into his soup over a spot of lunch with his lover peter crutch
I have a little swampland in Florida for sale, and you appear to be just the man to buy it, or how about some shares in the South Sea Bubble Co.?
We are more akin to Oliver
Levy as Fagin
Redchops as Mr Bumble
Ratboy as Oliver (please sir can i have lots more)
Joe Jordan as Bill Sykes
Crouch as Nancy.
When you look at the names we were linked to at the beginning of the window (Hulk, Falcao, Llorent), to the names we are linked to with a matter of hours to go (Parker, Cole, Hargreaves FFS!) it reminds me of that girl who promised you the works but by the end of the night was so drunk the best you could get was a hand job. Or was that just me?
no; she shook me off too mate
I see we’re being linked to Sulley Muntari. One could be forgiven for thinking this was simply lazy journalism. I suspect however, it’s a lazy manager.
HR: “Diarra has chosen Roma has he? Cole fancies Lille? Who else do I know that I could work with again? Let’s see if Muntari’s available.” :lol:
would rather have Joe Cole than that useless has been; in fact I’d rather have Cheryl Cole (but then who wouldnt)
ffs, pls be it lazy red tops
Can see Cahill happening now MS?
4 things;
1. If Modric is still heading to chelcunts why is he in Croatia sunbathing with Corluka (whose on the beer)? Surely if something might happen he needs a medical AND he wouldnt have headed to his homeland until after Weds (they play Friday night)?
2. Arry now saying Crouchy could go IF HE WANTS TO?? So thats that then, Crouchy TTFN
3. Arry did also say we were overloaded up top so dont expect anyone to replace him
4. Wanger now not interested in Cahill
Wishlist
IN – Adebayor, Parker, Cahill & one more (something out of left field: definitely not Cole… maybe Leandro or a Johnson/Lennon swap?)
OUT – Palacios, Hutton, Crouch, Bentley, Dos Santos
KEEP – Modric
I’d be reasonably happy with that, under the current circs…
Not saying it’s going to happen; wish the deals had been done earlier; not sure how keeping Modric is gonna pan out; but, given our currently parlous state, I’d give it a C+ or a B-
if i was a betting man I’d say Parker and Cahill and one other leftfield loan
am I happy with that?
Yep as long as Modric stays
As for the ones leaving; all except G2S who I would rather be loaned out to another London club to see if he can cut it in England
Also wouldnt be too gutted if Hutton stays (as cover at RB)