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What A Pilchard

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Good morning.

Yesterday we had the breakfast, today the dog’s dinner. For those of you joining us late I am one of those born again moany types who went from enjoying Arry amiably providing the press with quotes …to one that has become increasingly jaundiced with his inability to break wind without calling talkSPORT and shooting – if not literally talking them through – the breeze.

Arry has responded to Rafa’s gripes via not only the same medium but via the same newspaper. 

“Yes, it does seem to be a problem. Rafa can’t run back and chase the full-back. Against the better teams it is a problem. Rafa’s best position is in the middle, playing just behind the front man.

The only problem is that Jermain Defoe plays there too and Jermain is playing very, very well at the moment.

So, I guess I have got a decision to make, haven’t I? I suppose it’s now between Rafa and Jermain over who plays in the team.”

Dear Mr Redschnapps, if you genuinely feel you have a decision of such mind numbing stupidity such as this to make, please make it your last. 

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208 comments

  • johnhalloween says:

    his involuntary twitches obviously extend to his gob. A chairman’s and indeed fan’s worst nightmare. What a fucking idiot.

  • Andy says:

    To be fair to rednose, VDV needs to keep his own gob shut aswell! Im getting equally pissed by his constant critisism aimed at everyone else except himself! His problem is he believes his own hype! Harry’s problem is he believes everyone elses hype!

    • eastanglianspur says:

      Either way it points to Trout Chop’s inability to man manage – if you’re doing your job properly your players will hold you in respect and automatically have only good things to say about you. Think about it.

      • Essexian76 says:

        ‘Trout chops’ So funny!, still cracking me up(!)

        • eastanglianspur says:

          We all know how easily pleased you are, hence your misplaced admiration of TROUT CHOPS. :whistle:

        • Essexian76 says:

          Cannot stand the bloke, said so many times and on soooooooooooooooooooooooooo many occasions, but you OLd Fruit are plainly a fool but worse than a fool, you’re a deluded,ignorant bigoted fool, one that cannot express himself without resorting sheer bloody minded purile and juvenile name-calling. Indulge me for a moment and tell me where exactly I’ve missed your REASONING…We are 4th, playing well and playing good football. We are financially far better off than at anytime in our history. We’ve a future to look forward to and past history to reflect upon and according to you, it’s all through osmosis? Now your turn and you’ll see how a debate actually works Old Fruit!

        • Essexian76 says:

          Possibly 4th, got ahead of myself for a moment, but you’ll understand the gist..Mmm yeah, it’s a big ask I know!

        • eastanglianspur says:

          There’s no way I could understand your John Prescott type syntax. You’re not related to that slimey fat slob by any chance are you? Would not be the slightest bit surprised if you were. :-D

      • Essexian76 says:

        Is that it, really is that the best you can do?, what a complete and utter waste of space you really are! I think you’ve answered me with the best of your exeptionally limited abilty, keep taking the medication and perhaps matron wil allow you a walk around the car park!

        • eastanglianspur says:

          What makes you think I am performing for you – not only deluded but with delusions of grandeur as well. Your arrogance knows no bounds.

        • essexian76 says:

          you are performing for me you idiot, as I am looking at a care home for a senile relative and I’m using you to better understand his needs and the sort of questions he’d be likely to ask.

  • Andy says:

    Also i might add that at least Harry appears to be honest in his thoughts and dealings. All VDV ever does when he talks, is lay the foundations for his future excuses as to why he A: Had a crap game or B: Got injured or C: Got transfered out of a club or D: Fell over when shooting. You get my gist. The man needs to shoulder some responsibilty, and work a bit bloody harder!

  • yiddo4ever says:

    well if Defoe gets the nod over VDV then Rednapp has lost the plot!! At least VDV can finish chances rather then blast them staight at goalkeeper or over the bar. Oh and he also understands the offside rule as well.

  • crespur says:

    I hope the new you only does the Moany thing, If you get to the pointy ,shouty stage it’s going to open you up to sex and travel to the USA ( if you get my drift). BTW my take on the saga is that the newspaper reporter is playing with his Arry and VDV hand puppets,its a load of triffic tripe

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