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PNB Is John McClane: Ratings & Analysis

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Good morning

I can’t recall such an unrewarding game having so many grating facets to it. 

Kenny Dalglish has taken the siege mentality to new depths. He used to be tight lipped, frequently blunt. He’s deteriorated into an obtuse Magic 8 ball with an increasingly threadbare array of wannabe clever dick comments.

He’s not only allowed the victim culture of Merseyside to permeate the football club, he’s wearing it as a badge of honour. I’d be fascinated to know just who, outside of that city he’s impressing. The twit that was waiving a green laser pointer in Benny’s face probably thinks King Kenny rocks.

Mind you, I’d crack up if I was beginning to look like a fat Paul McCartney.

Suarez trailed his hand to catch PNB in the face and then deliberately kicked him in the gut. Yet again only the watching millions and not one of the match officials managed to spot this. 

Martin Tyler’s commentary on this wasn’t biased, it was straightforward bizarre. His reaction to this blatant assault was to scoff that Parker had only just made a ‘miraculous recovery’ in relation to a nasty go Charlie Adam had just  on him.

Ratings then.

 8 Self assured, brave in fact all the things you look for in a goal keeper. Or a Lollypop Lady in a particularly rough area.

 7 He defended far far better than I can recall. His forward moves amounted to zip but we hired him to defend. 

 7 Coped with Carroll and just about anything else they had in his stride. It was his kind of game.

 7 As ever he added an air of certainty to the back four. 

 6 Not an amazing performance. The lumping it up turns possession into 50/50 balls. If we could lose those kicks and the crappy throw ins/corners from our game, we’d be in clover.

 6 We seem to be getting a different player every time he plays. Last night he didn’t actually do cery much. I’m still unconvinced by him. My fear is he goes from being Dozzell 2.0 to being J**** 3.1 let’s jope not.’ 

 9 “Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…” He ended up covered in cuts with Bugs Bunny’s footprint for an appendix scar.

 The FedEX of Spurs. Distributed like a mother. 

 6 You need to stop diving Gaz and  the left wing ought to be your default setting. Naff game all round.

 6 Appears to have rediscovered his mojo somewhat but this wasn’t a game he really made a mark upon. 

 6 He appears have two or three players constantly wrapped round him. Arry needs to shake up our tactic to include him more. Struggling.

 4 Word is he won lots of headers. 

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186 comments

  • Razspur says:

    We can`t complain too much about Bugs Bunny as Bale could have seen red for his “Hands on”.
    I made Parker 88%, Livermore 74%, and Walker 77% but Baler 56% and Krankie 58%. I am glad that we don`t meet the scouser scum again this season, they`re not really in our league.
    Don`t wish to see our £150m player play acting, we expect that of lesser mortals.

  • KevtheRev says:

    I don’t think bale dived, the Liverpool player had raised his foot in a mock attempt to snap Bales leg in half, maybe it wasn’t GBH or even ABH but it was threats with menace. As for the cat. You’re spurs and you know you are.

  • Razspur says:

    Kev how can you make a mock attempt to snap someones leg in half, furthermore how can a player react to something that didn`t happen and then expect a free kick ?

    • KevtheRev says:

      Google. How to throw a fake punch, that gives you an idea of what I mean, how it’s done, why it’s done and the reaction of the opponent. Failing that ask your girlfriend about faking it… Joke.

      • Razspur says:

        I played the game professionally and reacted to opponents movement/tackles but never went down on the assumption of a tackle. Times have changed and players are more like Ballerina`s today but i would still expect minimal contact.

        • KevtheRev says:

          Never played professionally. I was selected to play for the county but my leg was broken with a bad tackle whilst playing a friendly game of football a few days later. Could I have made it professionally, we will never know. I was often kicked seven shades of shit because I was faster, and the assertion that I should accept that needed to be changed Fake or real the intent is often malicious and unsporting, thank god the days of “real men” football is gone and I for one can live with the “ballerina” consequences…

        • Essexian76 says:

          As we said before,I was all speed and no-brain, but had my kneecap dislocated during a friendly on Charlton Park. Although it mended OK, the memory of the pain and sight of an immobile leg-pretty much did for me as I was always expecting it to happen again, but that’s football and contact is part and parcel. Skirtel’s tackle like Kompany’s was first rate IMO and if we lose that from the game,then games the poorer for it. As for Scotty being an England captain-do you think he could play at that pace in a tournament? Do you think continental ref’s would accept his robust tackling?

        • Frontwheel 2 says:

          I played for a pub team and we drank cans of lager at half time.

        • Essexian76 says:

          Numbs the pain and keeps away the cold (So I’m told)

  • Kash says:

    PNB should get medal for that performance. He got an early yellow and still made some great blocks and tackles. Modric is a joy to watch. I think you could put 11 players on him and he would still keep the ball then make a great pass. Bale was asked to carry the attacking threat on his own. Not easy as in other games there was VDV , Lennon or Defoe but it was easy for Poo to get bodies round Ade and Gareth. Meaning it left him frustrated. He had 2 great chances but ” well you know “. Kranks is OK V Wigan , etc but he is too slow in general to be a first team player. I just want to get some players back for the BarCodes game so we can get 3 points on the board.

    • Paul says:

      Got to agree Kash about Kranc. he was disappointing – too slow (his running is laboured) and his tackling is poor. it’s no good anyone saying he’s a forward player so he won’t be a good defender because ‘arry has got a team of defenders when needed that’s why we’re having a fantastic season. i’ve watched Spurs for over forty years and this team has got more heart than any previous team. Scott Parker was fantastic – what an example to the rest of them. Livermore should be hie apprentice.

  • KevtheRev says:

    I wanted this to be a separate comment.
    I was jealous when Suarez joined Liverpool. Not now. He is a disgrace. Red card all day long.

    • dancingbarber says:

      Yeah good point – so glad we didn’t sign him. Harry thought he was too like VDV, but turns out he’s more like…………ummm…. a toerag.

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