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The Truth About Roberto Martinez

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Good morning.

Roberto Martinez, then. I have watched with what I can only describe as ‘some considerable confusion’ the adulation of the Wigan manager reach fever pitch. 

How the hell did this happen? 

Let’s start somewhere near the beginning and let’s stick to the facts of the matter, eh? As a manager he’s been accused of achieving much and being a rising star. SO what has he actually done? Well, to say he’s won nothing might be harsh, but it’s undeniably true. But he’s only been in management since 2007.

And so to the first myth. How many times have you read or been told in worldly wise manner that he ‘built’ Swansea? This week I’m hearing it with the frequency of time checks from Alan Partridge. 

Tony Bennett said that he never left so much as an umbrella in San Fransico. All Roberto Martinez left behind at Swansea was a forwarding address. Here’s a list of the current Swanse City squad:  

Gerhard Tremmel, Michel Vorm, Neil Taylor, Steven Caulker, Ferrie Bodde, Danny Graham, Scott Sinclair, Nathan Dyer, Wayne Routledge, Josh McEachran, Leroy Lita, Luke Moore, Darnel Situ, Joe Allen, Kemy Agustien, Mark Gower, Curtis Obeng, Ashley Richards, Scott Donnelly, Lee Lucas, Ben Davies, Joe Walsh, Daniel Alfei , Casey Thomas, Jordan Smith, Gwion Edwards, Kurtis March, Rory Donnelly, Gylfi Sigurdsson, Ashley Williams, Angel Rangel, Alan Tate, Leon Britton, Andrea Orlandi, Garry Monk and Federico Bessone*. 

The names in bold are those who played there at the same time Martinez was the manager of Swansea City. *Bessone was a free transfer brought in by Roberto in 2008 who then left but was then brought back by Brendan Rodgers.

Next up, his track record as  the Wigan manager. 

His first season in the Premiership was a memorable one for Spurs fans, of course. We beat them 9-1 . That game wasn’t exactly a blip for them. Chelsea also did them 8-0.  They escaped relegation on the last day of the season though, by beating Arsenal 2-3. Hurrah.

His second season was almost identical in every respect. Walloped by all and sundry. Yanited beat then 4-0 …but then so did Blackpool. They escaped relegation again on the last day of the season by beating Stoke.

So by contrast, this season was indeed a runaway success. Why because, Martinez woke up sooner and the relegation he had courted for months on end was swerved a few weeks ahead of schedule. 

His apologists will presumably now be found with underpants over their head and a pencil shoved up each nostril mumbling phrases like ‘limited resources’, ‘toughest league in the world.’

I have no kind words for you. 

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87 comments

  • Exchange & Mart says:

    For sale gents bicycle £2.50

  • Bruxie says:

    Staying up on the last day is a bit like finishing fourth. You’ve won nowt.

    • spurstough says:

      Yup, there’s only 1 1st and 4th, 3rd or even 2nd are not it but hey we do what we can eh?

    • Notper says:

      Wrong. You’ve won the right to possibly play CL football.

    • Phil McAvity says:

      Well I know which one I would rather be doing Bruxie!!

      • Bruxie says:

        I might agree with you come 22:30 on Saturday.

      • essexian76 says:

        Just bought the new Astra, however I was really gutted when I couldn’t beat a Ferrari from a standing start!

        • Bruxie says:

          Are you calling this season’s Arse a Ferrari?

          One with two punctures and a stuck handbrake, possibly.

          You’ll have to get better analogies than that Mr. Essex.

        • essexian76 says:

          Nope, I’m saying simply, that you have to look at what you’ve purchased and what it can do before getting upset that it hasn’t exceeded any unrealistic expectations. For the sake of an analogy, I’d be more inclined to suggest that Ferrari would be Man Utd,a Lamborghini Man City, Masseratti, would be Liverpool (nice expensive car, always breaking down, and Chelsea would be an old Lotus, past it’s best- For West ham, I’d ask the bloke flogging the bike at a reduced price on Exchange of Mart

  • Pete J says:

    Oops I’m sorry, wrong website….I’m looking for a Spurs blog called blog called Harry Hotspur, I seemed to to have taken a wrong turn

  • Lynesman says:

    I am not sure why but I have a grave dislike of Liverpool and enjoyed their slump this year under “king kenny”. I was looking forward to him spending lots of money on crap again (I thought he could have had Pienar for £20mill) and slump even more. SO I was disappointed when he go the boot.

    BUT if Martinez goes in there and does crap I can continue my chuckling at their demise – so my advice to Liverpool is sign him up (either than or Steve Mclaren is available).

  • Hartley says:

    You want to see a shit managerial record? Take a look at our Arold’s…….

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