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We Want To Buy, But The Blue Racists Only Want To Loan Him

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Good evening.

Daniel Sturridge.

I’m told negotiations have been ongoing for about a week and where we’re at is that as of this evening a loan could be done, but we would prefer to buy the Second Hand Fridge frontman.

How do I feel about this? Thank you for asking. I think he’s good stuff. the interesting dynamic here is as per André Villas-Boas, the Team GB boy has plenty to prove and where better to do it than in the Lilywhite.

Sturridge at virtually any other Premier League outfit would be a first choice, first team regular. But having £50m quids worth of chairman’s darling in front of you can hold even the most dedicated of chaps back.

I recall the old Jackie Mason line,  ‘at 20 Jewish women want a doctor or a lawyer! But by 35, they’ll marry a chair‘ and the fear of being linked with every piece of striking driftwood come the last half hour of the transfer window is the fear that urks all Spurs fans right now.

Time is running out but I think it would be a cheap shot to look at Sturridge as if he were a chair. He’s not perhaps in the same excitement bracket as some of the names we’ve been linked with for some, but I’d be very happy to ship him in. He knows the league, he knows Villas-Boas and he knows that he won’t get a better opportunity to really fly than this.

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224 comments

  • spursguv says:

    Ok I’ll be first AVB out! Jenas, Livermore, Defoe and now the biggest wanker in the premier league Sturridge..you must be fuckin jokin. AVB is a dud.

  • jolsgonemental says:

    have we reverted to the same teamsheet we had when harry joined?

    • TMWNN says:

      It is a fucking disgrace that ***** is still in the first team, and that the club has been so mismanaged to the extent that there is only one senior striker on the books (who isn’t very good).

  • TMWNN says:

    We can forget about Damiao. They’re asking for £47m.

    Perhaps if Levy had put in a proper offer 2 seasons ago we would have got him for a fraction of that price. Still, Levy is the top businessman, he obviously knows what he’s doing.

  • BruceGrove Bob says:

    I missed the Valencia game did anyone see Ever Banega play? thats a potential Modric replacement and the striker Soldado? Two players who are top class so lets stop talking about Sturrige if were gonna talk about a player with prem experience from west london make it Moussa Dembele.Please we deserve better.

  • Razspur says:

    Didn’t see the Valencia game but by all accounts we need a massive improvement in the next week in both performance and personnel. Granted it was a friendly, has it helped AVB decide on who to keep and who to toss ?
    Liverpool will be challenging for top 4 this season, FC Gomel were roughly Blue Square level but Liverpool passed well and Borini, Suarez and Gerrard all looked good, if Rodgers gets them playing like Swansea did last season they would be a serious threat.

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