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A Buddhist Goes Into A Cafe

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Good morning.

A Buddhist goes into a cafe. The sandwich shop guy asks him what he wants. ‘Make me one with everything.’ He’s handed the sandwich and in return gives the sandwich shop guy a large note. There’s an uncomfortable pause. The Buddhist enquires after his change and the vendor tells him, ‘true change can only come from within.’

Another day another anti AVB tale in the press. This one from The Independent revolving around the Spurs boss’ failed application to manage Burnley prior to Roman Abramovich employing him at Second Hand Fridge.

From the lips of ex-Burnley chief executive Paul Fletcher:

“The most surprising name put forward was Andre Villas-Boas. Mickey Walsh, an old playing colleague of mine got in touch to describe Andre as a hot prospect.

“He sent a very detailed application. His CV and power-point presentation was amazing. Even by today’s standards there was some complicated stuff. Tommy Docherty used to say he never said anything to his players that his milkman wouldn’t understand. I don’t think any milkman would fathom the meaning of a lot of Andre’s presentation.

Would Burnley players have understood what he wanted if he told them to ‘solidificate’?”

I don’t know about you but I have fabulous social skills. There’s barely a sector of society I can’t communicate effectively with. Well, apart from policemen. The secret is to tailor what you say to the individual. I used the word ‘fabulous’ but in truth it’s something we all do everyday to greater and lesser extents. In fact it’s easy to spot those that can’t. They tend talk at people. They aren’t listening, they cannot empathise.

And the issue here is the presumption that Villas-Boas would talk to footballers as if they were CEO’s. The problem I would imagine with Villas-Boas’ presentation to Burnley Football Club was that he presumed that he would be interviewed by people capable of making the mental leap that Boas had the ability to speak to footballers differently than he spoke to CEO’s.

Footballers don’t tend to be very bright people. Some stick out as being brighter than the bunch. Gary Lineker is articulate and thoughtful. He works as a TV presenter. Trevor Brooking got an O level at school and went on to become Director of Football Development for the FA.

On the other side of the coin we have Wayne Rooney who allegedly gave a hooker £200 to get him a packet of cigarettes on a night out and Paul Gascoigne who attempted to deliver lager and fried chicken to the armed psycho killer Raul Moat.

I am not so familiar with foreign footballer exploits. They certainly dress better and have better looking birds, but I’d be amazed to discover they were any more educated than their British counterparts. 

My point is, did Porto succeed under AVB, or despite him? Did he really stand in the dressing room discussing solidificating the enormity of the opposition’s dimensions? I suggest he did not.

The British press in the main, aren’t very nice. Almost completely untrustworthy is another phrase one could use. There are a million and one examples of how shoddily they have behaved in the world of football. So why would an intelligent person behave like a performing dog in press conferences?

Roy Hodgson wasn’t supposed to get the England job and so despite having been nothing but cordial with the media his entire career, when his appointment was announced the biggest selling tabloid in the country ran an extraordinary lead article mocking his mild speech inflection, including a list of words that ‘Woy’ wouldn’t be able to pronounce properly.

So what do we do? Well, there’s a good poem by a bloke called Kipling called ‘If’. But in more practical terms I think we need to take a more pragmatic stance and when AVB is attacked for no good reason adopt a dismissive stance to what is in the main made up stuff designed to prevent dead air on talkSPORT. I don’t advocate a siege mentality. That path lies to the arrogance of most Manchester United fans. I advocate reason.

Shouting as many have done in the last 24 hours, ‘AVB couldn’t land the job at Burnley, that’s how rubbish he is!!!’ isn’t reasoned. It’s trite and ought be treated as such.

After three games I don’t see disaster. I must also add I cannot foresee anything either – because I don’t have superpowers.

Our boss is an intelligent guy. I warm to intelligent people. Now, there are different kinds of smart of course and in time we will see just how football smart he is, at Spurs, with our squad of players.Ideally we’ll wait longer than a handful of games.

You wouldn’t eat a sandwich without asking what was in it, so why would you swallow a football article without asking the same question?

Hotspurs Half Hour – Show 4 Live From Lahore by hotspurshalfhour

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92 comments

  • Quinny says:

    This is precisely why I thought it was a ridiculous move to appoint AVB – the British media have it in for him…he’s a dead man walking before he’d even begun and now, 3 games later without a win the knives are out. Whether we like it or not the media does heavily influence what many fans and players think and if the general perception is that he is not up to the job then this is what the majority will believe – the wisdom of the crowd isn’t always wise…

    • Delovely says:

      Wise enough already to question his ability to manage in England at this level. At least Arry understood the ‘kiss’ principal for managing football clubs.

  • Gestie says:

    a lot in human history has been done under the guise of progress. i believe that the letting go of Mr rednapp, even in light of our 4,5,4 EPL positions, our best ever in the EPL was made with good honest intention. aside from the buddhist perspective of reincarnation, we only get one chance at life – even as a buddhist only once in this configuration. i cannot and will not imagine that Mr Levy would not be doing his job if he were not a spurs fan himself. Mr Levy has done a sterling job in the appointment of AVB, the best POTENTIAL candidate out there. appointed in good faith, with spurs progression at the heart of the decision. what is needed now is some calm, some “lets not make hasty decisions”, some “lets think before we act”, Mr Levy needs – like us – to be patient and let the man do what he has done elsewhere. “rome wasn’t built in a day”, and many other phrases all created from the wisdom of knowing that good things come to those who wait.

    a real change in behaviour, no matter how intelligent anyone is takes time – neuroplasticity is a process that doesnt happen overnight and is a process that is needed for any new growth to occur – whether its football tactics or potty training – it all takes time.

    COYS – COAVB – CODL

    let the flack fly.

    • Harry Hotspur says:

      :daumen:

    • LLL says:

      a real change in behaviour, no matter how intelligent anyone is takes time –

      The thing is, if we are to believe what AVB himself has said, he isn’t being afforded much time by the hierarchy. His brief, which he accepted, is to attain a top 4 finish. Meaning, anything less and he will be deemed a failure by Levy, and by himself. In other words, he had better get on with whatever it is he needs to communicate pretty quickly.

  • Delovely says:

    Our record in appointing ‘non-British’ managers to this club (other than Martin Jol) is nothing short of abysmal. Havent we learnt from this? In any way? Levy is no dummy but please!

    • LLL says:

      Levy’s record in manager recruitment is a complete car-crash in general. His most successful appointments were both accidental / emergency jobs.
      But still, inlevywetrust, he is the best in all the lands, he does no wrong. He is a little bald man of tremendous little bald man dimension.

    • Habib says:

      Jol is a very recent manager so you can’t say aside from him :P

      I think like any other person on a job, Levy has learnt on the job. He keeps getting better every year. And we benefit from that. Now the learning curve means there will be hiccups along the road but it is hard to deny our trajectory have been upwards.

  • Bukkake-breath says:

    Shoot the boo boys, or ban them

  • bklynyido says:

    The only way to shut the boo’s is to play the proper game or very shortly you’ll have to shoot and ban most of the Lane.

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