Analysis [Saints & Sinners Edition]

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Good morning.

Boy there really is an attitude out there that we need to beat everyone 8-0 or it’s open season to groan. 3 points and the job done. Bill Nicholson did say it wasn’t just about winning but winning well. I one hundred percent agree with him. But that’s in an ideal world and we don’t live in one.

A game of two halves indeed. The issues are pretty straightforward. We dominated the first half and the second half was a joint effort of the Saints giving it their upmost and our lot wanting to get in out the rain and slip their jazzy beats headphones back on.

The sense of relief that we won – or based upon the harum scarum of the last 50 minutes  – the sense of relief that we’d got away with it was palpable. And rightly so. Much improved with Bale on the wing but elsewhere what we miss in every department is wit. One knock on effect of Modric and van Der Vaart leaving has been the lowering of the team’s collective IQ. The closest we had to passes that made a real difference came from Huddlestone. 90% of the balls he pinged about were superb. Unfortunately 89% were in the first half.

We played a first half that was built upon mostlt tight, fast passes. More triangles than a Dairy Lea factory. But the second half degenerated into a cup tie between two old Second Division sides hoofing and huffing in the rain. Desperately sad to watch and nothing much to be proud of.

 – Distribution of a dyslexic postman. I’m not too worried his ball saving so much. It’s this burning desire to hoof the bloody thing into the void at every opportunity. I don’t recall us winning possession from even one of these old school clumps upfield.

– He’s about as convincing as a carthorse in a wedding dress. Somebody make it stop.

 – Solid. Only real negative was him passing to Brad who then passed to Southamptom.

 – Everything on his side, including me. More please.

  – Returned to form in the first half, looked half dead in the second.

– How long can he keep up doing the work of 3 men? Somebody find out whats keeping The Rolling Stones alive and give our boy some. 

 – Quite exceptional in the second half, joined the Witness Protection Program in the second.

 – We should sell him in January. To B&Q or Wickes.

– The pigeons sitting on this statue must have got heavy as he could barely move at all after 50 minutes.

 – Pinged and whizzed then fizzled out.

– As winning away goalscorers go, boy he’s unexciting.

 – I was actually so angry he made me giggle. Put me in a coma of hysterical despair.

 – A man that has inherited a squad pretty thin on brains that doesn’t particularly like playing for longer than an hour. The return of Kaboul and Moussa can’t come quick enough. Brad & Hugo’s roles need to be urgently reversed. If Walker cannot be improved in training then Naughton must replace him.

I don’t know how unfit Ade is but Defoe is so selfish and gormless I don’t know how much more of him I can cope with. This was Southampton, a team that have conceded more goals so far this season than anyone since 1804 or something. Come on.

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