Word emerging from the Emptycrates this morning is of ‘unusual goings on’ taking place in the Away dressing room yesterday that have led to a full blown enquiry.
Arsenal Football club apparently lay on a small buffet for visiting teams. On this occasion their had been some foul up with the catering order and all that was provided for Tottenham was a case of Evian, an uncooked Sea Bass and a solitary loaf of bread.
Eyewitness reports indicate that Spurs supremo Arry Redschnapps stormed into the dressing room ahead of his players and slammed the door behind him.
Fred Cheeserim, an Emptycrates Chief Security officer told The Yiddisher Psychic & Mart , ‘I heard what can only be described as incantations and talking in tongues . Everyone could hear it. We is used to a bit of colourful language from that boot room at half time, but this was other worldly, mate. I swear I thought I heard a chicken squawk.’
‘There was a blinding flash of light come from beneath the door then nuffink. Pure silence. The clatter of studs stopped and if I’m truthful a few of the Spurs lads was clutching each other.’
‘The door pulled open and Arry almost whispered at ’em to come in. The went in like little lambs. I stood after them in the doorway and couldn’t understand what I was looking at.’
‘The trellis table we’d put out seemed to be three times it’s size … like a banquet. Dish upon dish of the most delicious seafood. Huge dressed fishes, langoustine, oyster platters and magnificent smoked salmons. The soft, enticing smell of freshly baked breads filled the air and the still warm rolls and loaves sat nestled in woven baskets.’
‘Scattered about the table were expensive looking bottle of wine. I was confused, sort of mezmorized if I’m honest. I had been on duty minding that corridor since they ran out. No one went past me and that’s the only route in.’
‘Arry stood in middle of them and spoke softly, with his arms open, his palms turned upward. To be honest, I didn’t fancy it, closed the door and got out of it, sharpish’.
Mr Arsene Wenger was thought to be in the corridor not far behind the Tottenham lads but we understand he has told authorities, ‘ I saw nothing’.
I think Don Danbury would call Harry ‘Jon Bon Jesus’ – you have to watch the show.
The only problem with the biblical analogy is that our leader ends up getting crucified (by the taxman?) and his best loved disciple deserts the team for money. Fortunately I’ve looked at some old pics of Judas and he bears a stronger resemblance to Krankie than Bale – but if Bale grows a beard, starts talking in Aramaic and wearing lots of silver bling, its time to worry!
Funny places Spurs message boards.
If we lose the places are heaving and bursting with posts slagging everyone in sight.
But win in a legendary way against your bitterest rivals for the first time in a generation and… it all goes very quiet.
Why is that then?
Top 4 finish and consistently beating those competing for the top 4, I’m easily pleased when we don’t underachieve.
Spooky Dude ain’t got nuttin’ on our HH, and I’ll love him long time if he allows my links to be posted on the previous blog. :-p
We can do dat…
I was accused of smoking something for suggesting we could take 9 points from our next three games!Well, we’ve now put both blackburn and the goons to the sword, & I recon we’ll do the scousers next week too :-)
Always remained confident that things would improve this season, England are the only reason we’re not higher than we are.
Now we have a nice hungry & two month rested defoe back, ready to lap up those through balls from VDV & the Modfather. We’ll also hopefully have a fully fit Woodgate returning to partner Gallas for the rest of season. I can see King, Woodgate Daws & Gallas being rotated, all depending on the competition & fitness of each, lovely stuff :-)
Just need Blood back to form and a return of the Hudd in time for the champions league games next year.
Also, we got those celery munchers soon, couldn’t really ask to be playing them at a better time!!
If Woodgate does make it back in January and is able to stay healthy the entire second half, I can easily see a repeat of the second half of ’09 where Woody returned and led us to the second best record in the league.
With Woody in the lineup and with Gallas in terrific form, I don’t see any reason at all to rotate King and Daws into the lineup. I can’t believe I am actually saying this being such a massive fan of Ledders, but I want trophies!
Unfortunately, every time you start Ledders you risk having to use a sub early and distrupting our chemistry at the back. The biggest asset that Daws brings is his incredible spirit and desire, but VDV has taken that to a mugh higher level in in his absence. Also, based on what I have seen so far this season, Kaboul is a much better defender than Daws (considerably more mobile, makes fewer mistakes and plays smarter).
I aggree, def start Woodgate & Gallas together when both fit. We can start using Daws and King for FA cup matches & post champions league league matches when we need to.
For those who doubted Gallas, anyone with half a brain knew the guy wasn’t match fit when we lost Daws & had to chuck him straight in at the deep end. Talk about open yourself up for a hiding to nothing… Hopefully yesterday will be enough to convince people he deserves a break. It’s not like he came up through the Goon ranks is it?
Anyone see Woodgate on SP News the other day, jogging up the training ground steps in the background? Body language looked very positive, def spring in the guys step – great stuff.
Spooks is the scary one H.H. is the Holy one H.H.H.and at the moment DAVSPURS is the dogs bollocks and the seventeen years of Humiliation was wipe clean by Wengers Water feature and has H.H so eloquently put it a bloody Miracle.
the curse has been lifted,you can stuff the pikey lavender.
,and french romany gypos.It is glorious up here in the 3rd heaven :winke: