Word emerging from the Emptycrates this morning is of ‘unusual goings on’ taking place in the Away dressing room yesterday that have led to a full blown enquiry.
Arsenal Football club apparently lay on a small buffet for visiting teams. On this occasion their had been some foul up with the catering order and all that was provided for Tottenham was a case of Evian, an uncooked Sea Bass and a solitary loaf of bread.
Eyewitness reports indicate that Spurs supremo Arry Redschnapps stormed into the dressing room ahead of his players and slammed the door behind him.
Fred Cheeserim, an Emptycrates Chief Security officer told The Yiddisher Psychic & Mart , ‘I heard what can only be described as incantations and talking in tongues . Everyone could hear it. We is used to a bit of colourful language from that boot room at half time, but this was other worldly, mate. I swear I thought I heard a chicken squawk.’
‘There was a blinding flash of light come from beneath the door then nuffink. Pure silence. The clatter of studs stopped and if I’m truthful a few of the Spurs lads was clutching each other.’
‘The door pulled open and Arry almost whispered at ’em to come in. The went in like little lambs. I stood after them in the doorway and couldn’t understand what I was looking at.’
‘The trellis table we’d put out seemed to be three times it’s size … like a banquet. Dish upon dish of the most delicious seafood. Huge dressed fishes, langoustine, oyster platters and magnificent smoked salmons. The soft, enticing smell of freshly baked breads filled the air and the still warm rolls and loaves sat nestled in woven baskets.’
‘Scattered about the table were expensive looking bottle of wine. I was confused, sort of mezmorized if I’m honest. I had been on duty minding that corridor since they ran out. No one went past me and that’s the only route in.’
‘Arry stood in middle of them and spoke softly, with his arms open, his palms turned upward. To be honest, I didn’t fancy it, closed the door and got out of it, sharpish’.
Mr Arsene Wenger was thought to be in the corridor not far behind the Tottenham lads but we understand he has told authorities, ‘ I saw nothing’.
It has been rumoured that Dan the fan man has put in a bid for the hemmoroids as a practise pitch for our yoof team
HH – I can’t seem to get your post out of my head. There may be an even greater investigation needed because there were also some very bizzare things happening out on the pitch also.
Think about this. We have hoofed balls up the pitch all season to 3MP, who has yet to head one ball into the path of an attacker (outside the box) – yet – 10 minutes into his first action, the smallest striker in the league goes up and heads a hoofed ball perfectly into the path of VDV, who lays the ball to Bale for our first goal.
Almost as unthinkable as Defoe winning the header is us getting awarded a PK on the road against one of the Big 4.
Then to top it off, the winning goal comes off of the head of a guy who couldn’t even head a ball at all just 12 months ago and still hasn’t controlled a headed ball to a teammate all season.
Whenever the cameras pan to ‘arry and he is really intense, his lips are always doing this weird puckering, quivering thing. I wonder what we would see if we slow motioned that? Could he be mumbling something? Incantantions? Hmmm.
supa luka is a class act too,i really think we miss luka and thudd if they are both out at the same time,we need one of them in the middle at all times
i missed the stadium chatter and read most of the blogs but do you think we will end up ground sharing with west ham in the end at stratford,i can see it happening
personally i’d redevelop the lane even its just to 45,000,i agree its not worth £350m plus debt for a new stadium but how can the goons build a 60,000 seater just off the holloway road and we can’t in tottenham without govt help doesn’t make sense to me
i don’t go for all this 20/30 years in the future stuff,who is to say football will always be the golden egg or english football will be number one in the world,foreigners don’t give a stuff about england or english football,they’ll go where the money and the glory is,we’ll be left with english footy whatever the situation,i don’t believe in all these euro/world leagues either or NFL games,athletics legacy,concerts we are a football club not a media corp
THFC is connected to tottenham whether you like it or not and we should try and help the area as it should help us,who knows what the future holds for the tottenham area but we should be around to find out
right on brothers :shifty:
also all hail redknapp the miracle worker
nailed on for england now even the FA can’t fail to notice
2012 could be a new manager,stadium and name
The Stratford Hotspurs playing in the 80,000 seater Investec Bowl
we will kick off the Franchise football era :-p
started slatin the fella an sayin eez a donkey an e comes up trumps aye arry funny old game sorry younes.