Frustrated HMRC Officials Pounce On Arry

Rumors emerging this morning indicate that desperate Inland Revenue officers determined to restore the public purse mounted an unauthorised and audacious swoop on the Tottingham manager in Madrid just 48 hours ago.

Two unmarked men approached Redknapp outside the Vicente Calderon stadium, fell to their knees and started tugging at his trouser leg to distract him while four others rifled cash and luxurious trinklets from his pockets.

‘I’m walking round the outside of the stadium, it’s a fantastic atmosphere, there’s all little stalls there selling sweets, got some sweets, me and Kevin, and it was so packed. The next thing there’s two guys on their knees in front of me and I felt someone pull my overcoat.’

‘I thought ‘What’s that?’, and didn’t take any notice. The next thing there’s two guys on their knees in front of me and they’ve got my trousers and they keep doing this (tugging) with them, pulling them.

‘I didn’t know whether to knee him in the gob or write him a cheque.’

‘I was shocked. You can imagine. I hadn’t experienced anything like this since me and Sandra had that long weekend in Longleat.’

‘I’m going: ‘Let go of my trousers’, pushing them away. While I’m doing that they’re rifling my pockets, there were about six of them. And then they went.’

‘I went to put my hand in my pockets and realised what they’d done.They took everything. All my money, credit cards, everything really. They didn’t get my passport or me trumpet, so the show will go on!’

When asked what he was doing in Madrid Arry replied,’ We was just on a shop up for sweets. There’s been no contact I …err ..we, well no one has spoken to anyone. But obviously he’s a big talent and he’s told me he wants to come.’

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