Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee; for me and indeed just about anyone who has Arry Redschnapps involved in any aspect of their football team’s Buying Dept. this August.
This morning the news trickled down like wee down the leg of a distressed child that West Ham United (T/A Naughty Knickers Newham LTD) will indeed be holding a bring and buy sale for their ‘Internationals’ if and when they become the owners of the swankiest stadium in the Championship.
“It’s unrealistic to ask an England player to come down and play in the Championship,” warned Gold, who has recently been in hospital, where he was treated for cholangitis – an infection of the common bile duct – and septicaemia.’ he told the BBC.
So who will be on the trellis tables amongst the bric-a-brac then?
Robert Green. Transfer value? Blimey. I dug out a 2009 transfer rumour relating to him replacing Peter Cech – no laughing at the back, please – that offered a figure of £14million. Difficult to believe he’s worth half that at this moment in time. As goalkeepers go he’s certainly not the worst. I’d still take him above Ben Foster. Then I’d take a grapefruit with a face drawn on it over Foster.
Carlton Cole. I was, in a previous life sat behind Cole watching the Hammers play West Brom (don’t ask, I can’t explain) the game was horrible. Cole leaned over to his minder and whispered in his ear, ‘It wouldn’t be nil – nil if I was playing, bruv.‘ I always thought Baldric was an only child. Cole makes Darren Bent look like a Stephen Hawking. Oh yes and he’s rubbish at playing football. Transfer value? I predict an opening request for £15million but as with these sort of events it’s all about bartering and Steve Bruce should pick him up along with a box of assorted Star Wars figures for half that in an ‘undisclosed fee’ deal.
Matty Upson. ‘England’s Matty Upson.’ Another piece of junk. This is the end of the table with all the stuff that Cash Converters wouldn’t take. Trawling Google back in time you can find a tale that a pre Mancin Manchester City might have shown an interest in him. In January of this year the Mirror ran with a tale that Arsene Wenger and Steve Bruce (sorry mate) were going ‘head to head’ to drop £500,000 on the player.
Scotty Parker. I’ll have the name Sebastien Bassong hurled at me again, but what is it about people getting excited over players in teams that have been in the relegation zone all season long? It makes no sense. By reverse, Spurs have had another good season (no, they have) yet the rumours of ‘audacious swoops’ don’t mention Jermain Jenas. So how is Scott Parker somehow a cherry on the top of a cake – that’s made of poo? I just don’t get it.
The fear is and I’m telling you now this is on the money …these are precisely the type of players that get old Arry’s juices flowing. Maybe he realises that even Cole wouldn’t be a great move. Maybe. But the rest?
Watch this space…
None of that lot. They are useless. All part of a team they help to relegate. A younger Parker maybe, but now we need to develop Sandro.
cant see us doing any business with the spammers.still a lot of sour grapes over the stratford affair(not a pierce brosnan film)and why would we want the nucleus of a relegated team??? we have the remnants of our 2 from 8 still to get shot of.I really can only see departures and maybe a “marquee” signing if we’re lucky.i hope im wrong but cant see the major overhaul up front that people expect.bentley,two saints,hutton,psb,one of walker/naughton,kranky to go hopefully jenas as well.woody released,maybe king? two £80/100k a week players in
forgot about ohara hes got to go as well,but who will want this shower o shite i dont know
That’s another problem; because we almost always materially overpay we expect everybody else to do the same when we sell. Realistically what is Bentley worth now? £3 million? Same logic on PSB and most of the others. Jenas might stretch to £5m along with the Kyle’s and Kranky might run to £7. The whole bloody lot of them will only just about add up to one decent striker – but will reduce the wage bill.
i think thats the crux of it all now.to much expenditure on someone elses players basically.realistically that lot could save 1/2million A WEEK off the wage bill f*kin amazing really!
Shipping these 6 players would absolutely not save us 1/2 million a week. First of all, someone else has been paying the bill for 4 of them this season. Even if they were on our tab (it is ultimately our responsibility), they do not make an average of £83000 a week each.
Not that I am against selling some deadwood. I would keep Walker and Krankie (if he’ll stay), though.
8 players mentioned with psb on circa £65-70k a week just averaged it out on the 8 £480k???and I gaurantee that we will pay someone 100k a week very soon,arrys crying out for it.he mentions it every interview
Yeah, sorry. I was only thinking of the 6 mentioned in 4 Ever’s post. Still, I don’t think they’re on that type of wages. Ok, PSB got a good deal to come “home” (I assure you that is meant in the loosest sense of the word), as Woody maybe 50k but Bentley and Jenas are on MAX 40k, the rest on less and the Kyles on a pittance of maybe just a few meagre thousand bob a week. So maybe 300k a week tops, not counting King (that, I would suggest, is a debate unto itself). Of which we are currently paying perhaps 100k.
Not saying we shouldn’t ship them. But in the last two windows the only people buying were the financial dopers. Lets face it, they’re not stupid enough for us to ‘lighters-three-for-a-pound’ them into buying any of these players. Even if Jose does fancy Jenas for his fantasy football team. If Levy does manage to pawn them off this summer for a decent wedge of cash then I’ll be perfectly happy.
Big if…
yep maybe quite a bit lower than £500k but what im amazed at is that levy has let it get this far.his business nous has admirers throughout the league probrably the world,so to be leaking 4/5/6 million a year on dross is not something he will let continue.this along with arrys reluctance to play anyone other than his favoured 11 points(IMO)to a bit of a clearance sale this summer.with the depreciation of a player/assets worth a few of them could go for as little as £1m with add ons,much like adel taraabt.
And we can’t pay anyone 100k a week, unless they are twice as good as Modders and VdV. Otherwise their agents will start making noises about a raise.
vdv can f*ck off! give modders what he wants but that dutch fella as much as i enjoy his inteviews(so reminds me of BMJ)he or his type has rocked what was a pretty steady ship.cant really see the difference between vdv and psb.vdv is just a better finisher,both play too deep and disapear when a few tricks dont go their way
Well, you’re entitled to that opinion. I think most spurs supporters and the media punditry are squarely in opposition.
There are admittedly problems with having him in the side, mostly related to choice of formation. He has also seemed to run out of steam in a fair few games. Still, he has a willen zum winnen that nobody in the team (with the possible exception of Gallas) comes even close to.
He’s made us a better side. In my opinion.
Vdv has only really shone along side crouch.we havent the midfield to play 1 up top all season,just not strong enough.willen zum winnen???who does he play for?can we get him?and is there anything in it for arry?
Mark Noble might be worth a punt as a bench warmer.
Who for, Wolves?
Also, lets not get all doom-and-gloom. There’s still hope that PSB will be playing in claret and blue next season. They’re only 3 points from safety. They’ve got more hope than we have of making 4th.
Oi Harry I won your last comp but I don’t think you got the message email me slambe69@gmail.com cos you didn’t get my message