Date: 5th June 2011 at 3:02pm
Written by:

Can everybody please stop jumping out of windows. With of course the possible exception of those in bungalows just having a few larks. But make sure it’s supervised. Flowerbed edging can twist an ankle in the blink of an eye.

The threat of Spurs signing Liverpool’s Joe Cole has cast a shadow over North London and incited street parties in Merseyside.

This just in from a poster calling himself The Godfather on the message board FTL. ‘Just had it confirmed from his agent David Geiss that we have NO interest in his client. Infact, he went as far as saying that there is currently no concrete interest in him.’

David Geiss is indeed the Chromosome Kids’ agent. So this at least lends credence to it. I had a fish supper in a pub on Chiswick High Road once called the Codfather and that was textbook.

Pity that Redschnapp’s stock is so low with supporters that despite all his achievements nobody put it past him to ship in a waste of space like Cole…

Over to you Arry.