This is very good and comes courtesy of the very talented Gunnerblog.
As Homer Simpson said, it’s funny because it’s true. Grab an Ovaltine, hit play and watch your cares waltz away…
Share this article
Related Articles
Stan: The Arsenal REmix
I think we shoud buy some looters and get them to hang around the changing rooms scaring the crap out of the opposition players – and maybe getting me a cheap iPhone on the side
Can they play up front?
We need an eleven o clock shocker
I’ve been thinking. ‘Oh no, not again’ I hear you say, but here it comes anyhow.
People complain all the time about how we need a striker that will consistently get 20 goals a season in the league. I just want to point out that this is a ridiculous expectation to have.
Rooney managed a career-high 26 league goals in ’09/’10. His second best was 16, in ’05/’06. His career average is 11.33 league goals per season. He has never played less than 27 league games in a season.
Drogba’s average is higher than Shrek; at 13.5 league goals per PL season. His best season was a return of 29 in ’09/’10. The ’06/’07 season was the only other time he reached the heady heights of exactly 20 goals. His third best season ever in the PL was ’05/’06, when he got 12 in the net.
Torres impressed everyone with 24 goals in 33 games in his Liverpool debut season. Although he has admittedly struggled with injuries in every season since, he’s never broken 20 again. Last season speaks for itself.
Dimitar was a popular man for us, yet it wasn’t until last season that he broke the 20 PL goals barrier with ManU. In England he has taken credit for on average 8.2 league goals per season (Defoe has scored just over 9 per season in his 7.5 seasons with Spurs and 9.2 if you count the Portsmouth spell).
Compare and contrast with:
Thierry Henry who managed 20+ for 5 consecutive seasons ’01-’06. Average of 21.75 league goals for Arsenal.
and
Alan Shearer with 20+ for 4 consecutinve seasons ’93-’97 and 20+ in 7 of 14 seasons for Blackburn and Newcastle. He got an average of 18.57 league goals per season in the PL.
It seems it is about time to conclude that the the consistent 20+ league goals striker in the PL is a thing of the past, and that we need to realign our expectations accordingly.
Misunderstand me correctly here. This isn’t me saying we don’t need a new striker. It’s just me saying, don’t be disappointed if whoever we get scores a measly 14 league goals in his first season, and start calling for his and ‘Arry’s heads on a plate.
Oh yeah, and Pav’s 10 goals in 28 league games (almost none of them for a full 90 minutes) is actually pretty damn good by most reasonable standards.
Even if his first touch does have less control than Charlie Sheen on coke in a brothel.
Think we need to find a striker who can play with VDV (if one exists) as none of our current strikers seem to fit the bill.
Maybe we play 1 up front with VDV playing a free role or as part of a 5 man midfield but none of our current strikers seem to fit the lone striker role.
Otherwise, could we play a 3-5-2 ?
Personally, I’m very skeptical of playing 3 CB’s as it makes the division of labour pretty complicated (although lining up against Kaboom, Daws and Leds/Billy would intimidate most strikers). In particular I question whether Redknapp could make that formation work.
It would also most likely mean dropping Benny, perhaps our most consistent performer in the last 6-12 months. Although in theory we could play Bale as a forward and A&E as wing back. That would doubtless prove controversial, in large part because I think I saw davspur suggest Bale-up-front a while back.
Hang on a minute… Could that be why we have looked at a few left wings (Mata most recently)? I need to lie down.
Watercanon and plastic bullets are only suitable for northern Irish Catholics / who looted who
Just getting in after a night at droog-a-palooza?
I think that reference would sadly be lost on most of the participants.