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Alan Partridge’s Guide To Football

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Image for Alan Partridge’s Guide To Football

Good afternoon.

I trust you’re all in rude health.

Lovely video in from   who clearly has skills. One might imagine if he drew a lady’s part on a toilet wall it would be an etching that indicated considerable degree of talent.

Jurassic Park. Enjoy.

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97 comments

  • david says:

    Those Man City chaps are rather sad today, as a result of being robbed by poor referring decisions at Anfield yesterday.
    Welcome to our World.
    Still, it all evens itself out over the season apparently so looking forward to us getting an extra 8 points sometime soon.

    • essexian76 says:

      I’m still waiting for the penalty against Newcastle in the FA semi final to even itself up..1999 ;-)

      • david says:

        I remember that, was on holiday in Cornwall at the time, the game was on the first day, great start.

        • essexian76 says:

          Alas,It never ‘evens’ itself out, anymore than Balotelli’s ban will benefit us, but’s that football I guess, otherwise I’d begin to think there’s a conspiracy against us….!!!

  • AFelching says:

    Anyone else have problems with reading writing and spelling

    • melcyid says:

      If arry has risen to such dizzying heights as to be on the verge as an England manager unable to do wot he sed,and can send out a player with the instructions “get out there and runabout a bit”lives at sandbanks poole in a 10 mill drum,and has the sky 4 regularly
      employing the help of top match officials to enable them to beat a team he has cobbled together,and has HMG set the hounds on him costing them millions and him blaming his dog then he is a top top bloke bigger than even del boys wildest fantasy.

    • Spurstacus says:

      Or punctuation? :-p

    • TMWNN says:

      What gets me, is that this idiot had the audacity to call some Spurs fans idiots.

      Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

  • seattlespursguy says:

    The “Moron” Defence is a bold strategy:

    “I can’t work a computer, I don’t know what an email is, I can’t, I have never sent a fax and I’ve never even sent a text message.”

    He added: “I have a big problem, I can’t write so I don’t keep anything. I am the most disorganised person, I am ashamed to say, in the world.”

    Redknapp told officers he had not seen his pay slip in years as he said: “You talk to anybody at the football club. I don’t write. I couldn’t even fill a team sheet in.”

    • Billy Legit says:

      “The “Moron” Defence is a bold strategy”

      If that’s the best he come up with he’s f*cked!

    • SpurredoninDublin says:

      Anyone recall the words of George Carman QC when he defended Ken Dodd?

      “Comedians are not Chartered Accountants. But some Chartered Accountants are comedians”.

      • Billy Legit says:

        George Carmen QC aka ‘killer’.

        Tough SOB!

        • SpurredoninDublin says:

          He was quite a nasty bastard in his private life too. A wife-beater and a bully towards his son.

          Then there’s the contradiction that he was also a devout Roman Catholic. I can never understand that. How can you be devoutly religious and regularly breaking what is supposed to be “gods law”.

        • Billy Legit says:

          I reckon it’s the gear they wear, very S&M :devil:

  • seattlespursguy says:

    “My name is Harry Redknapp and I’m a moron.”

    “Hi Harry.”

  • rogerspurs says:

    I’d have to be worried,if hypothetically, I was charged with a crime ( nothing specific in mind I might point out) and my defence was ” I’m not very bright”, “I can’t write properly”, and ” I have to get someone else to do it all for me”.
    On a completely unrelated note, obviously – I support a club that I’ve loved for 50 years or so,and they are having the best season so far , league table wise, since the early 60s and, maybe, 1984/85. I am “in the moon” as a famous Argentinian ex-Spur once said. However I keep getting this nagging feeling that something is gonna crop and turn it all into shite. Some one please convince me that I needn’t be worried. Please.

    • Dorset Spur says:

      Don’t worry, be ‘appy (he says in dorset tones).
      I hope we adopt a siege mentality. Us against the world.

    • onedavemackay says:

      We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

      As long as the management stays the same we will keep improving and though we do have one of the very best players in the World in Bale the rest aren’t too shabby and unlike the Arse our goals come from all over the pitch.

    • Dorset Spur says:

      One thing that has stuck in my mind. VDV once said there’s a white board in the Spurs changing room, but he has never seen anything written on it!! or HR could be dyslexic, but doesn’t know it.

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