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Acute Analysis Punchy Player Ratings

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Good morning.

After all the well earned plaudits for Swanselona and Brendan Rodgers (t/a Christ Is Risen plc) it was fantastic to see us play coherently for the third game in a row and look every inch a team that deserves to play Champions League football next season.

Now this next bit won’t surprise some but will infuriate others; but I do hope Arry isn’t waiting for a round of applause from the fans anytime soon for that sumptuous feast?

We’ve just had an entire week of increasing praise for Rodgers and ability to lay on the most amazing football buffet with the most limited resources. Need to stretch a few baked goods and seafood to accommodate some unexpected guests? Need wine, but only got water? Dial 1800 BRENDAN.

All Arry has done is the bleedin’ obvious with extraordinary resources.

After taking a sabbatical from managing Spurs to woo anyone who might listen in the media about his suitability for the England job and then being humiliated at Goodison Park where our travelling fans sang tactical advice to him he’s rejoined the party.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted. And I’m not so mean and nasty as to say, ‘well that’s what he’s paid for’, it’s just his fannying around blew a 10 point lead. 

The abandonment of the ailing King and the return to fitness of Billy Gallas has been a blessing. With PNB and Sandro partnered in front of the current back four we look as good as we ever have in years there.

Let’s hit the player ratings then…

 7.090That save was literally supersonic. Fingertiptastic. He was spotted off his line a few times but I am convinced that this was just an optical illusion. It never happened. Go back to your homes. 

 6.665 A mixed bag really. Which is to say he showed promise yet made some really dumb, unforced errors and I thought he was on the way up, not down.

 7.379 Hammerfoot himself. A couple of naff passes out but more importantly he’s looking like one heck of a defender. Apologies if the word ‘heck’ is a bit strong, but that’s just how I feel.

 7.479 Billy. Bill. The Billster. He’s more of a captain for me than Ledders as you can see he’s a natural communicator, he doesn’t hesitate to communicate, in very natural way.

 7.479 Tighter than an Ibis Hotel breakfast buffet. Benny was in great form. Lifted the ball of ’em and immediately looked to feed the boys up-field. Classy.

 7.789 The N17 Enforcer. The camera panned on to him ten minutes in. Sweet beading, shirt looked like he’d been hit with grass cannonball yet his hair was immaculate.  

 7.778 He’s been a busy little bar steward, that Brazilian. I he’s going to be a great player. Big time huge, respected player. He defends endlessly but always looking to flick the ball into an attack.

 7.999 A handful of duff balls and relatively low key performance might have misled some that he was poor.  In lots of recipes you need the egg that binds. He’s not curate’s egg, he’s more the egg that you can go to work on. Nearly Easter see  – you didn’t realise I can fire out the topical ones too, did you?

 8.111 He plays on the left. And boy did he ever. What impressed me was he made more of a go of it defensively. And I do like to see everyone pitching in. He was spotted going central a couple of times, but little came of it as usual.

 7.333 Blud. Bruv. You get me? Well we didn’t get him until late on but he was a refreshing addition. Super cross. That’s just what Jesus said. Oh yes, I’m firing them out now…

 8.902 He’s bloody good you know, we should sign him. The hardest working act in show business today. Bernie Clifton simply calls him, ‘The Daddy’. Actor Ken Loach refers to him as, ‘The Vaartster’. 

 9.001. Monday I’m in love. Probably could have scored four if he’d have had the kind of unselfish service he gives others. Such an asset. His detractors need to ease up and take in what we’ve got on our hands here.

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106 comments

  • mattspurs says:

    Think Lennon has to come in for either Parker or Sandro…

    Felt Modric may have just been playing a bit too far forward to influence the game as he can. Seemed to spend half the game chasing their centre backs. Too many times he got the ball but had nobody ahead of him to pass to. Ball to bale for the first goal was a peach.

    Bale – great and on the left. Lennon when he eventually got the ball delivered a perfect ball.

    VDV – what a finish, and he seems to have remembered how to take a corner!

    Personally think Parker just needs to tackle/harry/sit and not try and do any passing or dribbling! – I guess part of the problem is he seems to be getting the instruction to go forward rather than Sandro?
    Sandro is going to be a Spurs great – loved his reaction on the bench for the goals when he’d been subbed.

    Thought the 2 centre backs were great though a little worried about Kaboul’s charges up the pitch. Loved it that Gallas collected the ball from the net and placed on the centre spot.

    Walker needs to practice his crossing (or just cross the ball rather than multiple stepovers). Benny – committed and did well in his tussles.

    Brad – I’m sat behind him and didn’t think he was going to make it, great save.

    Swansea – They were superb (went to their gaff too where they were good). Really felt they deserved their equaliser. What a contrast to Stoke who came and mugged us playing anti-football.
    BR should definitely be on our managerial shortlist.

    • Harry Hotspur says:

      Like all of that. Cheers :daumen:

    • Frontwheel 2 says:

      I think Kabouls charges up the pitch create a lot of uncertainty in our opponents,and as long as Parker covers him it is a great tactic to use 3 or 4 times a game

      • mattspurs says:

        It does cause a bit of uncertainty but sadly little product. If you analyse the best chance Chelsea had against us (Mata hitting the post) it came straight from one of his runs. Cheatski did play on as Kaboul was ‘injured’ and lying down in their area (possibly just knackered) but they did exploit him being out of position.

    • UnkleKev says:

      “Think Lennon has to come in for either Parker or Sandro…”

      Disagree. Playing two defensive midfielders provides the perfect platform for the rest of the team to operate. If Lennon is to play then someone else has to make way. For the time being at least I think Lennon is probably best employed as an impact sub.

  • Frontwheel 2 says:

    If we do end up with Rodgers I hope he brings Gilfy Sigurdsson and the goalie along with him.
    Kaboul,Bale and Ade,I couldn’t split them for man of the match

  • a_felching says:

    More of the same please, great stuff all round :daumen:

  • JPG466 says:

    Superb tactics pressing Swansea in their own area.. hope Arry insists on this more in the run in.

    VDV showed his true worth with that placed-shot goal and the less he drops deep the more we have him where we really need him.

    Great team performance… Ade & Bale specially.

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