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Analysis & Ratings To Self Harm By

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Hallo.

I’ve deliberately separated the analysis of the players from the manager because I maintain we’ve a great squad and Tottenham Hotspur Football Club is bigger than one chimpanzee with a saucepan stuck on his head. 

The lads are in their twenties and I don’t know about you but I was definitely an idiot when I was that age. God knows where my brain would have been if I was a millionaire as well as an idiot. Footballers are rarely better than their managers and coaches. When this does happen it is quite common for the players in this position to move onwards and upwards. In short, they aren’t a bad bunch, they just need managing.

So here’s run through of what I was watching…

 6.009 He pulled off a cracking save. I’m terrified by his generally lack of mobility though. Like every goalie in the world he really does need a half decent crew in front of him.

 7.008 I thought he had a good game. I’m infuriated that he’s crossing more balls in from the left than Bale because he’s not as dangerous as Bale. But Benny ain’t the manager…

 3.008 He’s had it. And while his form/fitness plummets it is insane to pick him without him having done any training. Those days are long gone. He shouldn’t be allowed to play right now.

 5.000 Not entirely woeful and now injured. Wonderful.

 3.767 Pants defender, pants attacking wing thingy. 

 5.090 I started to warm to him and now I’m just seeing a J**** but thankfully minus that imbecilic tongue hanging out to indicate having recently run somewhere, perhaps returning a library book.

 1.100 He’s absolute rubbish. 

 7.777 Looked hungry out there yesterday but didn’t work any magic.

 7.444 Loves being the middle. Someone should write that down on a post it note and then staple gun said note to Arry’s forehead.

 6.222 He’s a card. Still driven by the vision. Should be driving a Yaris.

 5.000 Gave it a go, I suppose.

 7.555 Lovely goal.

 7.444 Too often like a man with his laces tied together, sadly.

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139 comments

  • Noel says:

    Ready everyones comments and most ppl make really valid points..

    We all want redknapp gone but he is with us for the next 5/6/7 games… He has done an ok job but with that team and those players we shud be 3rd/ 2nd maybe… He isn,t likeable, he is not a Tottenham man and as I have stated on many occasions HE ISN,T BE SHUD BE PROUD TO HAVE MANAGED PLAYERS AS GOOD AS WE HAVE…

    I have relinquished my ticket for the semi final.. Not because I fear they worst.. I think we may win but I cannot stand by and watch Harry go all out for that match when the 7/8 have meants nothing to him.. And then if we do win, hes given it the old ‘Look at me cup final’ number 2 bollox…

    Get rid in the summer get rikjaard or capello in and watch our good players become great!!

  • Leyzer says:

    LLL Reply:
    April 10th, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    When things go well, he’s more than happy to take the plaudits, even when not due, as with the transformation of Bale from a player he was looking to loan to the championship into the player everyone else in football knew he already was.

    I have been saying this to all me mates ever since Arry started patting himself on the back for discovering Bale, but none took any notice. Finally someone else with a modicum of football knowledge!

    Even when BAE was meant to be going to the ACN dear old Arry was too trembly to play 24-game-jinx-Bale. He was forced into playing him when Benny got injured and ever since has nonchalantly taken all the plaudits.

    The saddest thing of all this is that if, understandably, the FA suddenly decide they don’t really want him, we may be stuck with the least tactically aware manager in the PL for yet another season. Cue more OAPs at the Lane. Word is he’s after ‘that triffic lad from Portugal…I think his name is Figo but to be honest never really seen him play….’

    • Big Chud says:

      :lol:

      It’s funny because it’s true.

      I would hope that if we get CL qualification, then Hazza Schnapps will be off to manage Good ‘ol Blighty via a telgram from the old girl FA.

      If we don’t get CL qualification and are stuck with Schnapps, then I would hope that Levy will boot the twitchingly inept looney tune right back to his own sandpit near Poole for good. A bit like how those ruthless Italian and Spanish clubs do it; as you know they would sack someone who had their team in 3rd place and 12 points clear of 4th, and another 5 points clear of 4th, only to end up with naff all 3 months later.

  • koko-61 says:

    Defoe has said that every one should stick together, and learn from their mistakes, and push on for the last 5 games.
    As a fan, I have this to say to the players and Redknap.. Talk is cheap, action speaks louder than words.. So sort it now.

    • Harry Hotspur says:

      Well said. Ironic that a man who spends a big % of every game shrugging his shoulders and saying, “what?” after he’s been insanely selfish… talk is cheap indeed.

  • ricewireless says:

    Ive read all the comments theres some excellent use of the word “bugger” but hideousness to the extreme in that one person described modric as like the hudd! jesus wept and wept some more…theres a heap of anger on here and im so glad its just not me, roberts is captain for the next game, hoddle in the centre, crooks and archibald up front and milla askekai in goal (i know that spelling is wrong) i just feel wronged…..

  • david says:

    Sad to see Ledley struggle, if you watch him, his knees are so shot he cannot even kick through the ball but has to attempt to chip every clearance.
    Is Kaboul available for Sunday ? If not it will be 2 from 3 of Gallas, Nelsen and Ledley against a Torres who appears to be regaining his form.
    I don’t think Chelsea are playing that well but neither are we and Everton are probably the form team left in the competition.

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