Player Ratings, That Sort Of Thing

Watching that little lot and trying to remain optimistic rapidly became akin to poking one’s way through squirrel poo and getting happy when finding an undigested nut.

My personal thanks to Clive Allen for showing Jermain Defoe that Greavsie video. Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe he learned from watching it or maybe someone whispered in his ear ‘They’re taking the mick, bruv. If I were you, I’d make sure you put one in this time or you could find yourself loaned out to West Ham.’

Watching it on the telly I actually asked ‘er indoors if this was the actual game or a re-run of a 1970’s match. The pitch looked like something you’d hesitate to run a half decent nag out on. It was only the haircuts that gave it away.

Here’s my ratings.

Gomes -4 – Easy to chuck him a ‘4’ and mock the flapping, but there isn’t one goalie in the history of goalie-ing that has had a good run with a conveyor belt of makeshift players in front of him.

Begbie–0 – I’ve an allergy to stupid people.

Gallas- 5 – Bogged down in the mud.

Dawson- 5.1 – Last seen as a charm on Doyle’s man bracelet.

A&E – 4.8 – Another sluggish contributor.

Peanut – 5.3 – I’m terrified by him. Too slow. Too not good enough.

Sandro – 7.89 – Proof that mud needn’t stop play if you have class.

Modders –6 – He didn’t click into gear, at all, much. Really.

Jenas – 5 – Stop falling over you schmuck. Stop it. Just stop. Now.

Pav –6 –  Fab goal, afforded few opportunities to do more.

Defoe – 8 – Rock & Roll baby.

Lennon – 6.1 – Looked okay. Very okay on occasion. We need more!

Bale – 6.3 – Oh how we miss you .

Krankie – 5.9 – Decent bloke, I fear we’ll lose him in August.