News breaking this morning that a team of highly trained chimpanzee monkees from London Zoo have been dispatched to a private address in Sandbanks, Dorset in an attempt to save a man that experts have described as, ‘clinically stupid’.
The chimps are dressed in medical outfits and are said to be experts at larking about, pulling crazy faces, making refreshing cups of tea and moving pianos.
Spurs supremo Arry Redshnapps was thought to be in good shape mentally, but a series of ridiculous media incidents have acted as a catalyst to events and now every second counts if Spurs are to retain any dignity at all this season.
After losing at home to Norwich City, Mr Redshnapps admitted to hearing voices in his head. Voices that were telling him to play 442 and who’s instruction he says …he dutifully obeyed.
Buoyed by his initial runaway success at Spurs, Arry’s occasional, gentle and pleasing manner with the press has became a full blown exercise in media whoring. Am I exaggerating? Take a peak at the front cover of the latest 442 Magazine.
The latest quote is as dynamite dumb as his revelation that he could have signed Luis Suarez is yet more proof he’s just a girl that can’t say ‘no comment’.
“We could have had Sessegnon at one time I think, the people who work for me weren’t really convinced at the time…”
Are these the same people in his head, or completely separate set of people who operate outside of his coconut? This is becoming complicated to keep up with now.
Let’s hope the Chimps can successfully prize his foot out of his mouth before the semi final on Sunday or who knows what the next piece of garbage to spill from his almighty gob might be…
You know……my old Nan used to watch the chimpanzees on the PG Tips adverts and she’d say “isn’t it clever how they’ve taught them to talk”.
If she was still around today I’m sure she’d be watching Arry on the TV and making the same assertion.
“They say you pay peanuts you get monkeys….are Arry’s peanuts very big or have we got what we paid for?”
Very true elf. We have missed out on proper quality signings in key positions over the last two or three transfer windows. Add to that we always without fail seem to get injuries in those very areas. We badly needed cover for Azza and have been left badly short at right back and centre half. Clearly with the new stadium on the agenda the chairman presumably feels that we cannot really invest the kind of cash we need to take us to the next level at the moment. I am sure he is also mindful that with the manager we have probably going he is reluctant to release the purse strings until we get a new manager and one who is fully committed to staying for the long haul and who can invest it wisely . He only has to look at what happened at Portsmouth to see just how badly it can go wrong.
Of course you did, Kenny. They just wouldn’t be Liverpudlian if they weren’t playing the victim in one way or another. OH WOE IS LIVERPOOL! SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED 23 YEARS AGO!!!
I cite South Park in asserting that, as 23 years have now passed since Hillsborough, it is officially funny.
Ok, so maybe 96 people dying still isn’t funny, but the way the bindipping hubcapthieves carry on with they self-pity certainly is a farce.
Boohoo. Get over it. I hope Everton give you a proper WOAT.
AIDS is funny!
And I need to correct myself here. I wrote 23 years, but it seems that the correct amount of time is actually 22,3 years. That means scousers weeping over Hillsborough has technically been funny since around the beginning of August last year. Damn it, now I’m annoyed. Eight months of mocking them that I’ll never get back.
everything is everyone elses fault, scousers are all god like in their ways, they would never do anything wrong, ever. its always someone else
Prick
I actually dont think he knows anyone is around him or listening,he is just muttering to himself.
I am just a little bit concerned if we win will this detract attention from our league business. ” Well you know the lads had the cup final in the back of their minds “. For me every league game from NOW until the end of the season is cup final I just hope Arry can get this through to the players.