The list of valid excuses were endless from Auntie Wenger in the after match interview.’Eeeet was a very physical game.’ The Arsenal coach said. He looked as uncomfortable as his charges as they embarked upon the climb of shame to receive their medals. Okay. And for those of us who actually watched the match you’re talking cobblers you big delusional French oaf. There were no excuses whatsoever. Arsenal Football Club were yet again revealed as incompetent. Arsenal Football Club were yet again revealed as pretenders. Arsenal had a pitch that was supposedly ‘ideal’ – according to the sainted Ray Parlour -…
Author: Harry Hotspur
Evenin’. An interesting snippet or two has came my way and so here is what I have. The Alan ‘Generalissimo Franco Begbie’ Hutton rumours doing the rounds of late have not only been libelous in nature but inaccurate. I’m told that the absence of the Scottish supremo has been down to an almighty bust up between himself and Redschnapps. Over what, or why I don’t know. But my understanding is that the player isn’t injured. The second is probably just a case of natural frustration but there was friction aplenty amongst our glorious strike force that went to Blackpool. What…
What the heck. Let’s have a rumour. I’m struggling to remember the last time I bought a football mag. My guess would be the WH Smith on Waterloo about 10 years ago. The memory wanders as this morning on an Italian footy site 442 are named as the source of this midget gem. Guillaume Hoarau is the name in the frame. His name surfaced most recently when mooted as a ‘Plan B’ for Liverpool in their pursuit of Suarez. Then prior to this he was said to be on Aston Villa’s ‘radar’. His value appears to variy wildly depending upon…
Good afternoon. This could easily degenerate into an interminable ramble so to spare you and to spare me I’ve opted for player ratings. No width, no plan, no nuffink. Modders threatened to elevate us but he was outnumbered by people who didn’t share his vision. Most footballers are thick. If they couldn’t excite people with a football, most of them would be working in the fast food industry or at best ‘larking about’ to some capacity in a warehouse. There is a pattern at Tottenham whereby they perform brilliantly and then immediately afterwards they act like hungover chimpanzees that have…
Mornin’. Tangerines away it is. Negatives other than the abject squalor of the town itself out the way first then. Our physio bench is once again to die for… VdV calf strain again (hence the daft headline), Charlie still recovering from an assassination attempt, Krankie, Wooders, King, Thud and Bale all writhing with gout. This is only leaves us – excluding the Dutchman – with the journeymen dregs of the squad what beat Italian giants AC Milan at the San Siro last week. So what does that say? I tells me in louder tones than a whisper that we’ll batter…
This appears to have been doing the rounds so here she is. I don’t want to get all pop psychologist, but I keep getting the impression from an awful lot of rich and famous people that their homes are neither nests nor castles. A&E was on football focus Saturday morning and his gaff was made all the stranger looking by the what was presumably the director’s idea to draw the curtains and shoot under arc lamp in his front room. Both houses were quite sparse. I’m not a fan of dust catchers but no evidence of books, flowers, pictures… anything.…
That’s it. All hope is lost. Please go back to into your homes and don your widow’s weaves. It’s all over. It’s been mumbled before, but to my mind today’s News Of The World back page is the first real warning shot that the indomitable Celt Sluralix is well and truly after Modders. Our form guide here doesn’t make for a pleasing read. Michelle Carrick and Baldgarian were out the door like scalded cats the moment a move to Old Trafford was mooted. The impact of Carrick going was softened by what seemed good money at the time for a…
You didn’t need psychic powers to predict that anything remotely connected with Wembley was going to require articulated lorries to move the mountainous piles of cold hard cash from the grasping digits of the semi literate automatons to the bottomless pit of avarice that is the FA.
Good morning. Now pay attention. The man we are looking for is one Alan Longsocks Hutton, street name Generalissmo Franco Begbie . When standing up he he is 6’1″. Early indicators are that he is not injured in the conventional sense. There is no record of him on Physioroom.com or indeed Tottenham’s official site (although they have a splendedt interview with our new goalkeeper, Patrick Jennings). Recent sightings include an audition for Celebrity Come Dancing at Craven Cottage and a bit part in Scotland vs Someone Else, the motion picture. ‘Franco’ is believed to be still in the London area…