Let me tale you a tale. There once was a jeweller by the name of Gerald Ratner. Gerald had not one jewellery shop but lots. He rewrote the rulebook for jewellery retail. He piled ’em high and he sold ’em cheap. His shops had big gawdy posters in their windows and he employed his East End market stall techniques on the High Streets of Britain, boldly offering cut price schmutter. One day in 1991, Gerald woke up, went to work as usual and then toddled off to make a speech at the Institute of Directors. Unfortunately that was the very…
Author: Harry Hotspur
Good afternoon. Sorry to drag you away from the Fa Cup Final or a RedTube marathon or whatever the hell it is you miscreants do when you’re not on here being upbeat funsters. The word comes from on high. Archie on Spurs Odyssey no less says that the man who wants out is Sebastien Bassong. For the player this will not be a quick process. Levy & Co do not simply hand out players like complimentary mint choccies like some friendly curry house. Any prospective owner will have to pass stringent tests. Namely being able to lay their hands on…
Yo. On the last blog I gave a Arry a dig in the ribs. For me what grates are the self indulgences presumably prompted by his defense mechanism. The mood at The Lane when things fail to go swimmingly is fine blend of angst and lynch mob. Football managers do not benefit from speech writers or spin doctors and consequently they have probably provided the world with more ‘interesting’ uses of the English language than George Bush. But if you can suspend your disbelief at his belief in 3MP, and your rage at being told you’ve never had it so…
I’ve no doubt that Arry takes this job seriously, I just wish he’d engage his brain before sharing his East End homespun witless wisdom with us. “I’m going to go and commit suicide, it’s so sad…” Nobody likes being patronised yet this clown manages to have a swipe at the good and learned folk that pay his wages virtually every time he gives a postmatch quote. The shoulder shrugging needs to go. The ‘What can I do?’ needs to go. Stop fannying us about and get rid of those not up to the task and replace them with those that…
Manchester City away then. According to some top ranking statisticians a few harrowing facts have emerged today. Tottingham have drawn their last 23 games and Mick McCarthy’s 11 year old niece Kylie, has scored more goals for her school netball team than Pav, Defoe and 3MP combined. Going into this game is like waiting on welcome but extremely unlikely news. Ben Shepherd sound remotely convincing when talking about football, your missus telling you that left the bathroom looking emaculate, a lottery win. This entire Premiership has been below par of course. Manchester United will win the Championship based upon being…
Good morning. Interesting interview on FIFA.com with a chap we signed a while back who is now playing football in La Liga for Racing Santander. It’s mostly the usual Jermaine J**** ‘pushing on’ spiel but what grates more is his rewriting of his time at The Lane. Spurs fans embrace rather than suffer from the Messiah complex whereby we’re always on the lookout for the chosen one who’ll lead us into the promised land. We kid ourselves it’s about glory in it’s purest form it make Opus Dei look like the Girl Guides. Soiled Campbell, The Baldgarian… to a lesser…
On the way back home from a wedding that I can barely describe using words I was listening to the radiogram in the Roller and Cheatski fans in some number (well I heard 3) wanted to swap our Arry for Carlo Ancelotti. This rendered me very close to speechless right up until of course the point where I began speaking again. I am not an Arry out merchant. Yes – there is bundle of things wrong with him, but it did get me thinking. My perspective on, ‘so and so out!’ has always been the same: Cool – so who…
Good morning sports fans. I feel I’m owed about 27 goals from these occasionally shiftless chancers and shall be having one of those more than 2.5 goal bets. This is probably about 5/2 and in event of it coming in I can then begrudge having to shell out so much to see a return and in the event of it not happening it will inspire unchecked anger. There isn’t too much to say in advance of a fixture that we ought to win handsomely for so many reasons. J**** was in The Evening Standard with a piece to me that…
Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee; for me and indeed just about anyone who has Arry Redschnapps involved in any aspect of their football team’s Buying Dept. this August. This morning the news trickled down like wee down the leg of a distressed child that West Ham United (T/A Naughty Knickers Newham LTD) will indeed be holding a bring and buy sale for their ‘Internationals’ if and when they become the owners of the swankiest stadium in the Championship. “It’s unrealistic to ask an England player to come down and play in the Championship,” warned…